Here’s how I know it’s Christmas. This year, Bill and Hillary have taken the time from their busy schedules — what with Mr. President meeting with Mr. President-elect, and the first lady buying mansions and selling memoirs — to send along their annual politically correct “holiday” card.
Oh, I know they didn’t lick the envelopes themselves. That’s what interns are for.
But I had a special feeling knowing that along with my Harry and David Fruit of the month catalogs, there was a message in the mail just for me — and about a hundred thousand or so of the Clinton’s closest friends.
Give or take a thousand.
Ever since my days as a reporter in Washington I’ve been getting these things. They haven’t bothered to purge me yet. This is the holiday equivalent of being a dead person on the voting rolls. At least they didn’t see my last name and send me a card in Spanish.
For the first time, however, I actually took the time to read the card, especially considering this may be the last thing I ever get from the White House for a while.
Right under the White House seal, is the very non-sectarian, politically correct greeting: “With warm and treasured memories of our special time in the White House, our family sends you and yours our heartfelt wishes for a joyous holiday season and a new year filled with peace and good will.”
Coming from the Clintons, you know the language had to have been vetted and gone over a thousand times in order to create the perfect political card. This is one you could dash off to the Israelis and the Palestinians, even the Pope. Without the need for CIA clearance.
And of course, the card is signed “Bill Clinton,” and next to it, “Hillary Rodham Clinton.” Still. Not “Senator-elect” or anything. All in a nicely simulated longhand by machine (after a little “adult” eggnog, who could tell). Besides, you wouldn’t want them to get presidential wrist cramps, would you?
This year is even more special for Asian Americans, in particular, because of the greeting card’s face. Every season features a different portrait of a room in the White House. As I recall, one year was the Lewinsky room.
This year, adorning the card is the primary living room in the first family residence, otherwise known as the Yellow Oval Room.
As they say, how I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall.
And boy, are the walls YELLOW!
Not an off-white that’s turned color in the sun. It’s a bright yellow. An Asian American yellow. With yellow drapes. Yellow frames on the wall hangings. A big yellow couch, with matching yellow accent chairs. An Asian accent? Hmmm. All of it picking up nicely the yellow carpet where they’ve added Buddy the dog and Socks the cat. Gifts under a Christmas tree. And a toy soldier.
Probably not Colin Powell.
Bush may kick out Buddy and Socks. But let’s hope the Bushs keep the room yellow.
From all indications it’s about as yellow as the administration is likely to get.
The early appointments of Powell to Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice to National Security Advisor, and Texas Supreme Court Justice Alberto Gonzales to White House Counsel, indicates the George W. knows certain colors.
Just not yellow.
You figured Bush would have to go do something to bring African Americans and Latinos into the fold. Minority communities voted overwhelmingly against Bush.
In Powell and Rice, Bush has two safe affirmative action hires. They’re qualified and competent. And they’re Republican. They’re also so non-ethnic. Ask Powell what his community is and he’s liable to say the military. Rice? The faculty and staff of Stanford? Neither has made ethnicity an issue, not as careerist Republicans on the way up. Powell and Rice are model minorities.
So where are the Asian Americans on the short list?
A few weeks back there was talk of a bi-partisan Bush government with real live Democrats. On the conservative Fox news channel there was even talk that Commerce Secretary Norm Mineta might be retained. Of course, the Fox News Channel showed how much they knew when the graphic actually said, “Commerce Secretary Bob Matsui.” It confused one Asian American Democratic stalwart, Congressman Bob Matsui of California for the venerable Mineta, the first Asian American cabinet member in U.S. history.
How’s that for an indication of how much we count?
There are only two names even remotely taken seriously. Elaine Chao, the Heritage Foundation fellow married to Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.). And then there’s Matt Fong. The Californian lost a senate race to Dianne Feinstein, but re-emerged to help lead Bush’s campaign in California. Bush lost the state, but Asian Americans were the most likely minorities to back Bush.
Where’s the payback?
It may be that the most zealot Asian American Republicans are among the more recently immigrated, and thus not considered by the Bush camp to be ready for prime time.
It means as we say goodbye to the Clintons we may be saying goodbye to the most Asian American friendly administration in U.S. history. Right down to the Filipino stewards in the oval office. And the first family residence’s yellow walls.