Sister Gets Her ‘ACT ONE’ Together
by Loan Kim Ly

My parents separated when I was about 6 years old. The funny thing was that it took me almost a year to realize it. It wasn’t until I had to go to the Welfare office with my mom that my new reality finally kicked in. I can still picture that day.

It was windy and the mini tornadoes of garbage whirled around us as we stepped into the gray building. The social worker spoke Vietnamese to my mom but asked me questions in English. First, he asked me for my name, grade, school and what I liked to do -- then he asked if my father still lived with us. I was speechless. He turned to my mom for an answer, and she said my father didn’t live with us anymore. After that, I lost track of what they were saying. It all started to make sense to me.

When it was time to go, I thanked him for the three lollipops he gave me. On the way home, my mom told me that it was going to be just us from now on and that I would have to take care of my younger siblings. That day when I got home, I gave the lollipops to my younger sister and brother, and I saw their faces light up. I knew it would be up to me to help them out whenever they needed me. I just wasn’t sure how to do it or what I needed to do.

When I was 13, I started hanging around the wrong crowd. I conformed to whatever was considered cool or different when I was actually just following the crowd. I often felt like I was going nowhere and got into the habit of just kickin’ it after school, loitering in the streets, drinkin’ up, and basically doing nothing but watch the world pass me by with one eye closed. Life seemed so much easier when I stopped thinking and just let the pages of my life story flip themselves, not caring how the ending would turn out.

During that time, I got our family kicked out of our one-room apartment for having too may friends over while my mom was at work. And I saw how my behavior influenced my little sister. When she was sent home from school for fighting, I realized I needed to change, if not for myself, then for my family.

With the support and guidance of my friends and family, I developed the self-discipline that kept me involved with my school and the community. During my junior year, I joined a program called Asian Teens Organized for Neighborhood Empowerment (ACT ONE). I was involved in the Generation Gap project. Our emphasis was on strengthening family relationships. I helped make a video documentary that showed how parents and teens perceive and respond to events that affect their lives.

Being a part of the project gave me the confidence I needed to share my story with others and address issues within my own family. ACT ONE taught me that doing community service was not about changing the world; it was about changing how those around me see the world. It was yet another clue to how I could help my siblings.

Next fall I will start college. Learning more about myself will bring me a step closer to fulfilling my obligation to my younger siblings. I want to show them all the opportunities that are available to them. This is now my motivation.