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Vietnamese / Chinese / American... and a Little Bit of French

By Queena Lu

I can’t remember a single thing about Vietnam. All I know was that I was born there. My parents told me that we stayed in Vietnam no longer than 15 days after I was born. Then we immigrated to the United States. I always wanted to learn more about Vietnamese culture, but my parents raised me as Chinese.

Growing up in San Francisco, it was easy to learn about Chinese culture. The culture of Vietnam was harder to discover. I tried to take a Vietnamese language class at my high school, but the class was cancelled and I was switched to French. It’s too bad because I really wanted to learn Vietnamese; especially because my parents always talk smack about me in Vietnamese.

I realize, though, that Vietnamese culture and Chinese culture are very similar. I always hear the terms ‘big dragon’ for China and ‘little dragon’ for Vietnam. Even though the Vietnamese language literally has French characters because of France’s colonization of Vietnam, the pronunciation of Vietnamese and Chinese are actually very similar; only the accent is different.

The Chinese and Vietnamese also share similar traditions and beliefs. They both celebrate the Lunar New Year, and they both give out red envelopes. The two cultures also share a belief in Buddha.

Once in a while, I’ll go to the temple with my family to celebrate special, traditional holidays like Chinese New Year’s, Goun Yum Dang (a celebration for the Buddha), and the first and fifteenth of each lunar month. Usually my family eats jia, which is a vegetarian plate with plenty of vegetables over rice, noodles, egg rolls, and much more. We worship the Chinese gods and goddesses by burning incense. I find it very interesting and fun to listen to my grandma tell tales about these gods and goddesses.

In marriage, the Chinese tradition requires the husband’s family to pay the wife’s parents money (lay gum) for their approval of the marriage. The price is up to the girl’s parents to decide. I think that the Chinese favor boys because the boy can carry on the last name of the family. Marriage is like selling a daughter for one family and gaining a daughter for the other family. There is nothing like that in the Vietnamese culture, but my parents will require my future husband to pay them lay gum.

I think I am becoming more Americanized. Since I attend school here in San Francisco, I have learned how to speak English like other Americans. I’m used to my new American identity, and I’m moving further and further away from my Chinese/Vietnamese culture.

I dress, talk, eat and think differently from my parents, and sometimes they don’t really understand me. I often talk back to my parents when we have an argument. They think it’s very disrespectful. But even though I am becoming more and more Americanized each day, I know I’ll always have the Chinese and Vietnamese traditions inside me.