How America Sees Us: National survey shows many Americans prejudiced against Chinese Americans (in National News) Oakland Cultural Center Changes Name — Again (in Bay Area News) International Showdown: Selling arms to Taiwan (in Business) Mistress of Self: Interview with author Chitra Divakaruni (in A&E) Emil Amok: Busting Stereotypes (in Opinion)

I Told Mamma, I Wanna Shop Around

Most parents want to see their children graduate from college and then move on to a successful career. I know some Chinese American parents who work 24/7 just to save up money for their children’s education. All they worry about is what’s good for their kids. They don’t think about themselves.

My parents are no different.

I know I’m lucky. But sometimes I wonder if parents are projecting their unfulfilled dreams onto us. After all, they want us to attend name-brand schools, not the universities that may better suit us. From their point of view, it seems success means going to U.C. Berkeley and becoming a doctor or a lawyer or some other high-paying professional.

For me, though, I want to find a college that suits me, a place where I feel comfortable, where I can study.

This month, I went on a college tour to Los Angeles. The trip gave me a chance to learn about different universities — and at each campus, I imagined what it would be like to be a student there. Some schools had large student populations; others had much fewer students with smaller classes.

During the tour, I thought of things I’ve never thought about before. I always wanted to go to U.C. Davis. I know a lot of students there, people from my high school. I never visited the campus, however, and I never considered what student activities or majors it offered. I just thought I would be better off staying near home and sticking with my friends.

Now I’m looking into other options. I want to find a college that fits me.

While I was in Los Angeles, I knew I found the school for me as soon as I stepped onto the U.C. Irvine campus. It was clean, friendly, and I immediately felt comfortable. There are about 15,000 students at UCI, and more than half the school is Asian American.

A friend who was on the tour with me agreed that it was a great college. While we were walking through the campus, we decided we both wanted to go there and share a dorm room together. On one of the dorm-room doors, we both saw a Backstreet Boys poster with horns and moustaches scribbled over the band members’ faces. My friend and I both looked at each other — we knew we’d get along with the students there. (We’re both N’SYNC fans, i.e. anti-Backstreet Boys.) But seriously, the dorms were new and big, and everyone seemed so happy and friendly living there.

When I got home, I wondered if my parents would let me go somewhere so far away from home. At first, I was scared to tell them. But when I finally did explain all I found out about U.C. Irvine, my mom thought it was OK, as long as I learn, study and grow. That’s what college is all about, after all. My parents are finally understanding I have my own goals — and dreams.