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Bay to Breakers — Keep Your Composure

By Ethen Lieser

It’s hard to keep composure when running the Examiner Bay to Breakers footrace. Maybe it’s the guy dressed as a porta-potty keeping pace on your right. Or maybe it’s the nude runner flapping against the wind on your left. Try not to snicker. A turn of the head to get a better look is out of the question — you might lose your balance. Mardi-Gras seems like bible study class compared to this.

It’s hard to keep composure. Imagine that.

The chance of any runner being stuck in this precarious situation is slim to none. The percentage rises exponentially, however, at the Bay to Breakers. But do not fear, there hasn’t been a case of a runner knocked silly by a wayward toilet seat. Not yet, anyway.

“Seeing naked runners is definitely distracting,” said Eileen Kong, 29, who has run the footrace three times. “I don’t want to say this is not a real race, but I think it is more for show.”

For others, it’s one of the highlights of the event, or at least it’s a close second to crossing the finish line. “It is unique,” said Cindy Hau, 30. “It’s never bothered me because it is an event where people should be able to express themselves.” Yes, they will definitely express themselves. The costume contest will make sure of that.

For those of you cringing at the prospect of sharing a running lane with Mr. Flush and Harry the Naked Guy, perhaps bringing some friends will help ease the initial shock. That’s what Kong did.

“I usually run with my friends,” she said. “It’s a lot of fun when you finish at the same time with your friends. It gives you a sense of accomplishment.”

Ahh, yes, the finish line — the nirvana of every Joe Blow who has strapped on sneakers for the quest of the elusive yellow tape. And the Bay to Breakers is only a seven-mile event (instead of the 26.2-mile trek of marathons), so it is much more tangible for the knee-shakin’, wide-eyed runner.

“It is just an incredible feeling [to finish],” said Hau, who will run her fourth Bay to Breakers on May 20. “Just to see the finish line is the most motivation you can have.”