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Who Am I? Navigating the Interethnic Mix

Growing up multicultural in America

In 1998 in California, 15.3 percent of the babies born were interracial. Photo courtesy of Yvonne Lai.

By Janet Ng

“Who am I?” and “Where do I belong?” are questions most teens ask of themselves and the world around them. It may be more difficult, however, for children of interracial marriages — marriages that American society still considers abnormal, said Dr. Gin Pang, a lecturer at U.C. Santa Cruz and co-author of the upcoming book, Asian American Intermarriage and the Social Construction of Love.

At Pang’s seminar, held June 9 at St. John’s Presbyterian Church in San Francisco, couples talked about race and how it plays into their relationships with each other, their families and their kids.

“I started my research with the assumption that if anything, interracial families would talk about racial and cultural differences,” Pang said. “It surprised me to learn that they didn’t talk about it at all … It’s like having a 300-lb. bear sitting in your living room and ignoring it.

“When you don’t talk about differences in sensitive and controversial issues, you give the impression to kids that it’s wrong.”

In the melting pot of American society, there’s not only increasing diversity in the numbers of people from a particular ethnic group, but also an increasing number of multiethnic children.

Based on her research with interracial families, Pang commented, “There is tremendous pressure to conform to one race versus being multirace in our society. Whites, blacks, or Asian American communities still do not accept and do not feel comfortable with the mixing of the races.”

Pang cited evidence showing that in California in 1998, 15.3 percent of the babies born were interracial. In kindergarten, however, about 1.8 percent of the children are reported as interracial or multiracial by parents. By 12th grade, only 0.4 percent of the students state that they are interracial.

She explained: “Biologically, there’s a lot of mixing of the races, but a construction of an identity goes beyond just facts.”

The Developing Self

Julia Turner-Qi, who attended the seminar with her husband, said about her three-and-a-half year old daughter, “We’ve definitely been struggling with identity issues. One day she’ll want to be Chinese, another day, she’ll want to be another race.”

According to George Kitahara Kish’s Biracial Identity Development theory, from 3 to 10 years of age, children begin to notice differences between their mother and father. They are aware of contrasts between their own and others’ perceptions of them. This is also the time when they seek acceptance from their parents and within the family.

“Parents must affirm the child’s biracial culture,” Pang said.

She cited a case of an African American father and white mother being questioned about race by their daughter. The father mixed chocolate and vanilla ice cream and explained, “You can’t separate it. You are a part of me and a part of mom. You can’t deny it. The only thing you can do is embrace it.”

In the second stage, from 8 years of age to late adolescence and youth adulthood, children develop an identity outside of the family. They go through a “rejection and rebellion” phase against their ethnic culture. Depending on where the family lives, the children will want to assimilate into the mainstream culture, which is usually white culture.

Throughout adulthood, these kids now seek acceptance of themselves as people with a biracial or multiracial identity.

What that means for parents: “They need to have open communication with their kids, and give them concrete opportunities to interact with people of different backgrounds,” Pang said.

Identity Crisis

But isn’t this true for all teens and their families? Even Dr. Pang herself, a Korean American, went through a period of hating her ethnicity and culture when others yelled “Ching Chong Chong!” at her.

For parents at the seminar, identity is an important and difficult issue. Turner-Qi notices that her daughter is very aware of the race of children around her.

“One time, she was going to a birthday party. I put her hair in a traditional Chinese hairstyle, and she just freaked out because most of the other kids at the party were white.”

Another couple mentioned that their young son attempted to paint his eyelashes darker so that he would appear more Asian.

Just a Label

But it seems that identity hadn’t been and still isn’t a big deal for others. A sophomore at U.C. Berkeley, Chris Chen, whose father is Chinese and mother is white, explained, “I never even realized [being biracial] was an issue until a lot later when I looked back at how it could have affected me. Usually, I’m oblivious to it … The only way it affected me was very subtly … because after all, cliques do form based on race.”

Not having an ethnic group to identify with hasn’t been negative, however. “I would think it’s good security to have some kind of identity to fall back on, to always have a community you can call your own, but at the same time, it hinders independence of thought, among other things,” Chen said.

For Chris Chambers-Ju, who also has a Chinese father and a white mother, the word “biracial” is just a label. “It’s kind of a neat way to categorize people, but it just breaks down into a bunch of subgroups that have nothing to do with each other.”

Both Chen and Chambers-Ju mentioned that living in a liberal community, such as San Francisco, contributed to their ease with growing up biracial.

“I think living in the Bay Area is an ideal place to raise multicultural children because there are so many cultural resources for them,” Pang agreed.

Added Chambers-Ju: “I guess I have [established an identity] and it’s neither, nor something in between, but rather, something entirely different.”