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A Twisted ‘Best of 2002’

Afro Ken tissue box cover, a favorite addition to the San-X family.

On a certain level, I’m stuck in the ’70s, so I’ve got to borrow a phrase from that venerable decade of cheese: Thank god it’s the end of 2002.

What a year. As far as Asian news went it was eventful: It began with rising tension between Pakistan and India and ended on a strange, fearful and ambivalent note with the seizure of a mysterious boatload of Scud missiles, bound from North Korea to Yemen.

We witnessed a surge of mediocre movies featuring Asian actors, directors and fight choreographers. We felt the fear factor as Westerners stayed away from Bali in droves after the Sari Club bombing. This year, the War on Terrorism simmered beneath everyone’s consciousness, and we were all eager for any kind of diversion.

So to close the year with the same weird, ambiguous semi-bang with which it started, here’s my extremely subjective, oddity-strewn, completely random and far-too-twisted Best of 2002, Asian Pacific American-style.

Best under-the-radar zombie-gangster flick

Versus — Director/ screenwriter Ryuhei Kitamura’s gore-and-action sci-fi fest may have ripped off every usual suspect, from Night of the Living Dead to The Matrix, but it completes the heist so enjoyably that even my horror-hater pal was sucked in at its Dark Wave screening at the Roxie.

Most-likely-to-succeed manga-inspired movie

Princess Blade — As Princess Yuki, heir apparent in a clan of assassins, Yumiko Shaku plays the most kick-ass girl action (anti-) heroine to come around since Zhang Ziyi of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Sato Shinsuke’s futuristic film adaptation of the ’70s manga classic may be undeveloped in the narrative and dialog departments but it’s so stylish and good-looking — particularly in its opening fight scene, which seems inspired by surrealists such as Giorgio de Chirico — that it’s no surprise that it was a massive hit in Japan last year.

Best cinematic rip-off

The Ring — At a preview screening of the U.S. remake of the Japanese film The Ring, the audience around me left looking stunned and puzzled. “That was the ending?” they asked each other. Complain all you want — nothing could beat the feeling of creepy-tude that even needless additions such as wild horse imagery and an electrocuted Brian Cox couldn’t dispel. That — and the theme of the frustrated, horrific girl/ghost artist — survives translation.

Favorite film series

4-Star’s trash cinema celebrations — The San Francisco independent theater’s Kung-Fu Kult Klassics, Bo-Dacious B-Movies and Saturday Midnites for Maniacs went all-out with screenings of Crippled Kung-Fu Boxer, the original Gone in 60 Seconds and Garbage Pail Kids.

Best borderline offensive “meeting of East and West”

Jackass: The Movie — Amid the yellow sno-cones and toy cars shoved where the sun doesn’t sun, Chris Pontius acts up as the gyrating, thong-clad “Party Boy” in Tokyo, getting up in sedate salesmen and school girls’ grills. Would it be as funny if he was capering among, say, seniors in South Dakota?

Most personable band

eE — ask them about lactose intolerance.

Best live noise

Lo-Fi Neisans — I don’t know what they’re screeching about, but does it matter? This Bay Area ensemble of Japanese transplants evokes the manic, chaotic happiness of festival time in the old country, all the while sporting animal masks, waving rotating dildos, racing around in sumo diapers and crash helmets, and generating the most joyful blast of cacophony around.

Most valuable female players

Satomi of the Bay Area’s Deerhoof and Jeannie Kwon of New York City’s The Seconds — Is it a coincidence that these women are on Kill Rockstar’s 5 Rue Christine imprint? Maybe, but then again 5RC has always been mighty friendly toward adventurous indie female musicians.

Most pleasantly surprising band

+/- — Former Versus member James Baluyut and +/- turned in a shockingly lovely, almost chamber poppy performance at Bottom of the Hill. Where was everybody?

Best store

Otsu in San Francisco — Ditch that lame black leather jacket: Former Xiu Xiu band member and Zum zine/record label honchette Yvonne Chen have co-opened a hip vegan shoe, accessories and knick-knack boutique in the heart of the Mission. Japanese Canadian artist Kaori Kasai’s Childhood pieces are also on display through Dec. 31. Be animal product-free and stylin’ at the same time.

Best new San-X fetish object

Tissue box kid — Leave it to the anthropomorphizing madmen at San-X to make pink and blue heroes of Kleenex boxes and toilet paper rolls.