Bush vs. Saddam: Reality TV’s Finest Hour
February 28, 2003
Things are really getting personal now. It’s been said that the potential war is really a personal grudge match between President Bush and Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. Commentators have, perhaps jokingly, suggested the two not drag us into war but settle the thing honorably.
Like on a golf course. Or a mud wrestling pit. Or over a spirited game of Pai Gow. (How low can you go?)
But just when it all seemed like some satirical fantasy, Saddam comes back this week in a real interview with CBS’s Dan Rather (still the best in the business) to offer a reality show that Hollywood hasn’t thought up yet.
Are you ready for “Who Wants to Bomb an Iraqi Millionaire”?
Saddam has made the offer for a “direct dialogue” with the president in a live debate on radio, TV and satellite. First he gets to say what he wants, then Bush can make the case for war. As Saddam said to Rather through a translator, “it would be an opportunity [for Bush] to convince the world.”
In his report, Rather noted that Saddam has keen awareness of the growing world-wide anti-war movement. He knows there’s an audience out there for such a debate. But was Saddam really making a credible offer? Was he joking?
“Joking?” said Saddam. “[This is] in earnest. Out of respect for the people of the United States, Iraq and the world I am calling for this, because war is not a joke. As leaders of the world, why don’t we use this opportunity?”
The White House is not amused. Ari Fleischer shot back at CBS, saying that talk of a debate is not serious.
“There is no debating Saddam Hussein disarming,” said Fleischer.
Touchy, touchy.
But you’ve got to hand it to Saddam. He knows how to stall a negotiation, how to stare down the world and an impending war. Hate him as many Americans do, his suggestion is typical from a desperate man, a maddening brilliance that makes absolute sense.
Talking directly is one thing that hasn’t really been tried. There’s been too many diplomats and dispatches. Too much doublespeak.
One big exchange between leaders to move the world toward or away from war is a great idea — which is why it won’t happen.
Too much at stake. Too much reality for life, TV and politics.
Doesn’t Matter Anyway: The Little War Has Started
While the big war has stalled for now, with debate talk and UN resolutions blocked by folks like the French (camembert and Brigette Bardot are so passé), serious warmongers were still able to get their fix — in the Philippines.
It’s the little war that could provide much-needed testosterone relief for Messrs. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, et al.
And we can thank our former Asian colony for that.
Sending 3000 American troops to the southern Philippines to fight the Abu Sayyaf, a ragtag bunch of Muslim terrorists with only a “loose connection” to al Qaeda?
Call it the appetizer for the big war. Of course, no one has the story straight.
Last week, Philippine spokesman Ignacio Bunye told Filipinos one story: “American soldiers will not engage in offensive operations against the Abu Sayyaf — they will only fire back in self-defense.”
But of course, here in the United States we got a totally different tale.
Said White House Press Secretary Fleischer, speaking for President Bush i
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