Studds, despite his high-profile career, had a 15-year relationship with Dean T. Hara, 49, that included two years as a married couple. They were married on May 24, 2004, a week after marriage for same-sex couples became legal in Massachusetts.

Hara’s name may become more prominent because of the discriminatory way federal pensions are paid. Federal pension law allows for the person married to a former congressman at the time of his death to collect half of that congressman’s pension for the rest of the surviving spouse’s life. Some estimate Hara might be eligible to collect up to $62,000 a year for the rest of his life. The problem is that administrators of the federal pension program have said that federal law does not recognize the Massachusetts same-sex marriage law, so Hara is not an eligible "surviving spouse."

While it is unclear at this time if Hara will choose to do anything to collect the pension, this is a moment to remember how we as APAs are multidimensional creatures. As the great American (and gay) poet Walt Whitman once said:

"Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain
multitudes.)"

Just as Rep. Studds had many defining characteristics, Hara is defined in the media as simply a grieving spouse who has been denied a pension. Only if we are aware of the histories of the APA and LGBT communities do we see that APAs have been at the forefront of pushing for equality for the LGBT community since the 1990s.

Anurima Banerji of NYU pointed out, "Advocates in [the pathbreaking Hawaiian lawsuits] Baehr vs. Lewin (1993) and Baehr vs. Miike (1996) presented a range of evidence to support their demand for legal recognition of their relationships, including proof of pre-existing traditions of same-sex wedding rites in native Hawaiian communities — practices which predated U.S. annexation of the island in 1887, but which were outlawed due to the colonial government’s subjugation of what they considered non-normative sexualities."

Christy Chung and Lancy Woo, a couple of over 18 years, were among the thousands of same-sex partners wed in San Francisco in 2004, after Mayor Newsom urged city officials to defy California law and issue marriage licenses to gay couples. The California Superior Court halted the practice after three weeks, so 12 couples, including Chung and Woo, filed a lawsuit against the state. Stuart Gaffney, a Chinese American man who wanted to marry a non-APA man, was another plaintiff in the suit. Significantly, the case garnered significant community support from both straight and gay APAs, who argued for the right of LGBT couples to have the same civil protections as other couples.

Meanwhile, Gita Deane, and her partner of 24 years, Lisa Polyak, are the lead plaintiffs in a landmark case challenging Maryland’s exclusion of same-sex couples from marriage. In the past, they accepted a legal situation where they could be denied the privilege and protections of marriage.

Not only does the current law deny them over 1,000 federal and over 435 state protections, but also creates a stigma for the couple and their children.

They filed their lawsuit to try to end discrimination directed toward themselves, but also toward their children and families just like theirs.

According to a list on Wikipedia, marriages for same-sex couples are recognized in the Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, and Canada, and South Africa will join the list at the end of 2006.

Civil unions or other legalizations of same-sex relationships are available in 19 countries and five states.

While federal recognition of Rep. Studds’ marriage may be too late for Hara, he can take comfort in knowing that the APA community are ready to support him if he decides to protest the marriage discrimination he is facing in his moment of grief.

One Response to “Dean Hara’s Dilemma”

1. AsianWeek » Letters to the Editor on December 19th, 2007 5:24 pm

   […] Overcomes Silence The distinctive Asian Pacific Islander practice of remaining silent (“Dean Hara’s Dilemma,” Oct. 27) on difficult or uncomfortable subjects is in stark contrast to the popular stereotype of […]

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