BEST 10 TIDBITS
1. The line starts here: Keanu Reeves announces in June that he’s ready to wed.
2. Rejected: Vanessa Minnillo nixes Nick Lachey’s marriage proposal, possibly ruining only chance for A-list fame via speedy divorce and reality show à la Jessica Simpson.
3. Foxy Brown thrown to wolves: Foxy finally found guilty of assault for 2004 nail salon incident, put on anger management counseling and parole.
4. Stars go karaoke-crazy: Chow Yun Fat bets he could croon with Curse of the Golden Flower co-star Jay Chou, and Jackie Chan gets pissed then dissed onstage.
5. Josh Holloway deemed super-hunk on ABC’s Lost, wife Yessica so happy she can’t keep her clothes on. Josh admits couple sometimes sails yacht naked.
6. Yul Kwon, this season’s Survivor: Cook Islands, deemed “godfather” of the series by castoffs and one of People magazine’s “Sexiest Men Alive,” takes home first million dollar paycheck.
7. Maddox gets new baby sisters, Zahara and Shiloh, for idyllic celebrity family: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt take PR blitz to rub it into Jennifer Aniston’s face.
8. George Takei, out and about — not only on TV — harassed by fans disillusioned by actor’s lifestyle versus Star Trek’s apparent Biblical messages.
9. NBC’s Heroes takes America by storm, surprise lead actor Masi Oka must endure another year of whispering “Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.”
10. Alec Mapa: Luckiest guy alive? Found new role on Desperate Housewives, new man — secret wedding?
WORST 10 TIDBITS
1. Val Kilmer blames career screw-ups to failure to send enough Christmas cards to Hollywood big wigs.
2. Tokyo fans pay $3,400 for private dinner party, Michael Jackson takes off and runs. Cancels show till March 2007.
3. Yoko Ono nightie pics used for blackmail, Turkish driver arrested for attempting to extort $2 million from widow with publishing scam and plotting to kill Yoko and Sean Lennon.
4. David Hasselhoff divorces, vows to meet divas, brings on the sleaze at awards ceremony and hits on married Kate Beckinsale.
5. Naomi “hit me and I loved it” Campbell cleared on all accounts of battery due to “insufficient evidence,” plans to celebrate with broadcast bonhomie on Oprah. There’s no justice in this world.
6. Wesley Snipes turns himself in to the IRS after associates arrested in Florida for tax scheme, bilked government in $12 million back-taxes. Claims ignorance.
7. Jackie Chan admits first action onset was for porn flick, All in the Family. Now he has a family-friendly cartoon series. Hmm.
8. Pro-porn pet, Asia Carrerra, grieves husband who died in freak solo crash on personal website.
9. Kimora Lee Simmons and Russell Simmons separate, and Rusty can finally go out with girlfriends without irate, stiletto-heeled wife in the wings.
10. Lou Diamond Phillips drags girlfriend through house, found guilty of battery after frantic 911 call from inside of locked bathroom.
QUOTES OF THE YEAR
“I want Owen Wilson’s life. I’d do nothing but comedies for the next five years if I could.”
— Val Kilmer only wishes he still had a fan club.
“There’s nothing I like more than a lovely bowl of pasta.”
— Naomi Campbell, 2006 Foot in Mouth award winner, on the merits of ‘English’ cuisine.
“The first time I ever left the U.S., I went to Japan. I was like, ‘I’m in Japan … none of the signs are in English.”
— Cameron Diaz on world travel.
FIVE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR 2007
1. Elizabeth Hurley and Arun Nayar to wed in March, Bride- and Groom-zilla to reign as “god and goddess” after dropping pounds.
2. Kelly Hu and Samuel L. Jackson getting animated via Spike TV.
3. Russell Wong visiting this year’s International Asian American Film Festival.
4. Blonde Redhead, comprising Italian hotties Amedeo and Simone Pace and Japanese hipsters Kazu Makino and Maki Takahashi, rock NYE at San Francisco’s Mezzanine. Get your striped shirts and skinny pants on!
5. May So You Think You Can Dance? couple, judge Carrie Ann Inaba and former contestant Artem Chigvintsev, last after last dance.