Talking Shop: ‘BlAsian Exchanges’
December 13, 2007
BlAsian Exchanges is first-time author Sam Cacas’ recently released novel, which explores interracial relationships between black women and Asian men (termed by the portmanteau “BlAsian”). Cacas, 52, a former AsianWeek writer who moderates a discussion group focusing on black women and Asian men, tells the story of Earvin Ilokano, a Filipino American who deals with his frustrations as a journalist by penning a novel that recollects his attraction for black women and culture.
Why did you decide to write about the BlAsian relationship?
Sam Cacas: I wanted to write about interracial attraction/dating/marriage for about 10 years, because I felt that the Asian man’s perspective on attraction to black women has not been covered by either the mainstream media or the black media. Given my intimate involvement with black women for the last 33 years of my life (I have been married to a black woman for seven years and previously to another black woman for nine years). I felt I had a perspective that the public needed to hear, and I had to just write my own story.
What makes BlAsian relationships different than other interracial relationships?
BlAsian relationships involve two people of color together, which is significant to me because being intimate and social with my partner means a lot of not having to explain what it means to be discriminated against regularly because of the color of my skin and standing up to it when I want to.
Why do you think the issue of BlAsian relationships is so important to get out there?
Society is still ambivalent about accepting the Asian guy who is politically conscious, affectionate, and polyculturally bold enough to pursue their attraction for black women like I have — not the stereotypical Asian male nerd who is not masculine enough to even have sexual or romantic feelings for women. BlAsian relationships only started happening in the late ’90s and are regularly verified on the Internet in Yahoo discussion groups like PowerCouples_AMBW with 300-plus members — mostly black women—which I co-moderate, and YouTube videos like the one showing the BlAsian couple in an IKEA commercial. The image of black women and Asian men needs to be broadened beyond their archetypal racial uniforms of accepting notions of white beauty.
What sort of myths are associated with BlAsian relationships?
That they won’t last a long time, that Asians and blacks are not compatible, that such relationships are merely political statements.
Why did you choose Greek mythology to complement your interest in black women?
Greek mythology taught me a lot about developing the so-called “third eye” — the sense of intuition based on the wisdom that others have imparted, such as wise sayings, mythological stories such as those from ancient Greek literature, etc. For me, it has also included proverbs and family stories from my parents’ Ilokano background.
Are there any links that you recommend for people who want to know more about this subject matter?
» groups.yahoo.com/group/BlAsianExchanges/
» groups.yahoo.com/PowerCouples_AMBW
» www.interracialchats.com
» www.asian-nation.org/interracial.shtml
» www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIbxxH3ZcCg�
Comments
84 Responses to “Talking Shop: ‘BlAsian Exchanges’”
Got something to say?
[…] Originally Posted by cutie2004321 That picture is misleading. I was kinda excited when i saw the cover picture. It was an okay article, but… was it trying to focus on the fact that they’re are racial issues with blacks and asian’s or black and asian couples? (example tiger woods’s parents) (why was that included if it wasn’t about asian and black love?). The article wasn’t put together very well i think. Damn misleading picture…. The OP goofed. The article posted did not belong with the cover photo. This is the correct article: AsianWeek
Wow! This is great! I am a black female college student who has always been attracted to Asian guys. In the past I was always afraid to share that fact with anyone, especially other black females who usually think it’s weird. Now, I don’t care what people think. We are all the human race and it shouldn’t bother people to see a couple of different colors together in love. In a few decades, I KNOW the numbers of Blasian couples in the U.S will increase tremendously! : )
There are many chocolate Asians doing quite well: KimoraLee-Simmons, Cassie, Amerie, have you ever thought about doing a story on them?
Where can I pick up a copy? I want to share it with the boyfriend.
This is suprising.I myself have been very attracted to Asian males ever since was young.Back then I would always be worried of what others gonna think,and that “look” me and my BF would always get in public.But now I really enjoy the attention I am getting from them,wether they like us or not nothing can break us apart.
Glad to see something in the Asian community that’s not centering around white people only. It is time we pay some attention to other interracial relationships other than WM/AF. Thank you Asian Week for publishing such an enlightening article.
[…] Originally Posted by cutie2004321 That picture is misleading. I was kinda excited when i saw the cover picture. It was an okay article, but… was it trying to focus on the fact that they’re are racial issues with blacks and asian’s or black and asian couples? (example tiger woods’s parents) (why was that included if it wasn’t about asian and black love?). The article wasn’t put together very well i think. Damn misleading picture…. The OP goofed. The article posted did not belong with the cover photo. This is the correct article: AsianWeek
Spunkalunk:
You can pick up a copy of “BlAsian Exchanges, a novel” at the following places: (1) EastWind Books of Berkeley, 2066 University Avenue, Berkeley, CA 94704, phone: 510-548-2350; (2) City Lights Bookstore, 261 Columbus Avenue, San Franicsco, CA phone: 415-362-8193. If you want to buy an autographed copy from me the author, send a check or money order for $21.95 (18.95 for the purchase price plus 3.00) for postage and handling to: Sam Cacas, 1355 Leavenworth Street #12, San Francisco, CA 94109. Make the check out to Nobhillwriter Associates.
Sam Cacas
Author of BlAsian Exchanges, a novel
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BlAsianExchanges
I love this article and I’ve always had an attraction towards asian men. I find them to be very exotic creatures and just loving ;)
I’m thoroughly happy about this interview. I am a mixed woman married to a Chinese man and I have always wondered why there aren’t more Blasian relationships, so I’m glad that Mr. Cacas is raising some important questions and thought provoking dialogue. Kudos!
M.
That I should live to see this day!
When “races” are not only comfortable with one another, but have reached the understanding that “race” is but one facet of ANY relationship.
The sine qua non herein is LOVE, baby.
If love resides, presides, then nothing else matters.
The fearmongers and hatemongers will always be out there, lurking in the bushes, but they are as tinkling brass in the full orchestration of human love,
Greetings to Sam Cacas and felicitations to all you deliriously happy interracial couples out there.
Let all the others envy.
Frank Eng
[…] BlAsian -relationships between black women and Asian men First-time author Sam Cacas’ recently released novel, which explores interracial relationships between black women and Asian men (termed by the portmanteau “BlAsian”). Cacas, 52, a former AsianWeek writer who moderates a discussion group focusing on black women and Asian men, tells the story of Earvin Ilokano, a Filipino American who deals with his frustrations as a journalist by penning a novel that recollects his attraction for black women and culture.Why did you decide to write about the BlAsian relationship? Sam Cacas: I wanted to write about interracial attraction/dating/marriage for about 10 years, because I felt that the Asian man’s perspective on attraction to black women has not been covered by either the mainstream media or the black media. Given my intimate involvement with black women for the last 33 years of my life (I have been married to a black woman for seven years and previously to another black woman for nine years). I felt I had a perspective that the public needed to hear, and I had to just write my own story. What makes BlAsian relationships different than other interracial relationships? BlAsian relationships involve two people of color together, which is significant to me because being intimate and social with my partner means a lot of not having to explain what it means to be discriminated against regularly because of the color of my skin and standing up to it when I want to. Why do you think the issue of BlAsian relationships is so important to get out there? Society is still ambivalent about accepting the Asian guy who is politically conscious, affectionate, and polyculturally bold enough to pursue their attraction for black women like I have — not the stereotypical Asian male nerd who is not masculine enough to even have sexual or romantic feelings for women. BlAsian relationships only started happening in the late ’90s and are regularly verified on the Internet in Yahoo discussion groups like PowerCouples_AMBW with 300-plus members — mostly black women—which I co-moderate, and YouTube videos like the one showing the BlAsian couple in an IKEA commercial. The image of black women and Asian men needs to be broadened beyond their archetypal racial uniforms of accepting notions of white beauty. What sort of myths are associated with BlAsian relationships? That they won’t last a long time, that Asians and blacks are not compatible, that such relationships are merely political statements. Why did you choose Greek mythology to complement your interest in black women? Greek mythology taught me a lot about developing the so-called “third eye” — the sense of intuition based on the wisdom that others have imparted, such as wise sayings, mythological stories such as those from ancient Greek literature, etc. For me, it has also included proverbs and family stories from my parents’ Ilokano background. Source: AsianWeek � Talking Shop: ‘BlAsian Exchanges’ […]
Wow, this was very informative. I’m glad that I actually get to see a male perspective of this type of relationship.
I recalled when I was in college, one Asian or Japanese classmate dated one of the most beautiful Black woman I have ever since. I saw him in San Francisco w/ his girl. She looked very fine. I don’t know, she had all the Caucasian feature like the eye, nose, face, and body. Maybe she was mixed but I didn’t see it in her. She was totally dark. They were shopping w. her mom, brother and him in China town.
Our society live w/ some pre-judgement in place. However, sometime, we have to look outside the political, and other factor. I know, it is difficulty to say it, but, you feel it inside.
[…] Glad to see something in the Asian community that’s not centering around white people only (“Talking Shop: ‘BlAsian Exchanges,’” Dec. 14). It is time we pay some attention to other interracial relationships other than […]
I’m an African American/Native American woman from NYC who never had any problems dating within other ethnic groups including Asian one of whom i’ve been happily married to for 19+ years.
I love men, but in particularly Asian men and find I have more in common with them spiritually, intellectually, and culturally in general.
My daughter is dating a very mellow spirited, beautiful Cambodian man.
AA women attraction to Asian men and vice versa is not a new phenomena! :D
I too am glad to read this article. All you see on TV and in ads are white guys with Asian women. Bleeeh!
I’m a 32 year old African American /Native American woman who is happily married to a Filipino/Russian (Jewish) man. Before I met my husband I always dated interracially and had a wonderful time doing it. When people question me about my husband I always tell them that my senior prom date was Chinese. That usually shut up really quickly! : ) I’ll agree with the poster Huney I NEVER had a problem dating other racial groups either. I’m extremely pleased this article was published and look forward to more like it in the future!
I’m a mixed BLAsian girl of Corean ( Korean for those who don’t know), Japanese, Bedouin ( Which is African/Arabian) and Anglo-Saxon ( English) blood. I have always had an attraction to Asian men.
There aren’t many Asian men here in Pittsburgh though. I’m happy to read about the many African-American women who have met Asian men, in New York , because I’m moving there.
I def want this book, how can I get it?
Also, thanks for writing this book. NO only for Blasian couples but for us Blasian kids as well.
Patrizia, you’re welcome and thanks so much for your kudos. You can buy an autographed copy of “BlAsian Exchanges, a novel” from me the author, send a check or money order for $21.95 (18.95 for the purchase price plus 3.00) for postage and handling to: Sam Cacas, 1355 Leavenworth Street #12, San Francisco, CA 94109. Make the check out to Nobhillwriter Associates.
Sam Cacas
Author of BlAsian Exchanges, a novel
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BlAsianExchanges
e-mail: nobhillwriter@gmail.com
Very cool that “AsianWeek” did this piece…the only un-cool thing is it seems mainly black or mixed black women have [positive] comments whereas many other online articles here have tons of Asian participants commenting. As yet another mixed black female (black/French/Native American) who likes Asian men, I would have loved to see Asian men comment with their thoughts and/or see how other Asians view this.
I agree with you, rensational. I mostly see black/black mixed women’s comments on articles or forums regarding Blasian couples. I very rarely see comments from asians. It makes me think that most aren’t very keen on Blasian relationships. I know many asians and I know that most are very strongly opposed to the idea, or are quietly disapproving. Actually, I don’t think any of the asians I know approve of it at all. Not saying that they represent all asians, but it makes me wonder…
Wow, is all I have to say. This is great I’ve very opened minded when it comes to dating guys so I love asian men. It great to see someone else’s view on the subject.
My boyfriend of 5 years recently proposed to me on a trip down in the Everglades. I later thought just how close I came to missing out on the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I’m African-American and Irish-American but grew up within the black community and he’s Japanese-American and Vietnamese. I was reluctant to start dating because I had NEVER seen a Blasian couple before! I looked for awhile for some sort of blog/message board/forum on this and found nothing…I’m so glad I finally found this site!!
I absolutely agree with you. I’m a blexican and my fiance is asian and we’ve been together for a very long time. We love eachother despite eachother’s skin color.I lost many friends when I went out with him, but it was worth it now I’ve found my life partner in him.
I have lots of Asian friends and none of them disapprove of me (African American) having an attraction to Asian men. Some of them have tried to encourage me dating them and some have tried to play matchmaker. Maybe it’s the area we live in though…..In any case, this is great especially for those who want to try it. I think your book is a great idea!
Well, i stumbled upon this site, and saw the cover of an asian guy a with a black girl, and of course intrested me because im a asian male, ( chinese and vietnamese ) dating an ethiopian girl. i had a asian male friend who also dated an ethiopian girl back 5 yrs ago, but lost contact with him, and that was the last time ever that i’ve seen an Blasian couple untill my self. so at first it was unusal in the area to find a blasian couple, but now after 2 yrs + dating, we starting to see alot more blasian couples, old and young.
Alot of women have been wondering on an asian guy’s outlook so here it is. I have always been open to dating other ethincs, its not a problem with me. everybody is diffrent, and theres so much in this world to experince. some of my friends asian male friend dont really approve, my asian female friends dont mind. my mixed friends and non asian friends dont mind either. it can be difficult with the family, since im the first generation here in america, but i deal with it, and get thru it, because it is my life, it is my decidetion who i go home to see every night, not what will please my family.
it might seem to be unsual ( i dont know if thats the right word to use ) in this area now, and to the media ( except that ikea commerical, i love that one ) but everytime we join hands in public, its making more people aware.
Mark
It is very interesting. I have been attract to Asian Men since I was younger. I recently met Asian Man from NYC and we had contact pretty often. Unfortunately, He left from NYC because he joined in Marine by now, I think. Right now, he informed me that he found someone from Marine. I felt lost by him because we can’t make relationship. We are friends (Him and I). He asked me If I don’t mind to continue to email him. I told him, Sure, I would do that.
I have been rare Blasian couples. There is nothing wrong with outside of races.
Great article! Thank you! I really like this site. =)
There’s nothing wrong with asian males dating black females, especially if they look like halle berry or beyonce or rihanna. Now those women are hawt!
As a 40 year old divorced Black female, single mother of
one who works fulltime and attend college fulltime, I’m attracted to men of all races but particularly Asian men. Not because of their race but because they are who I am more comfortable being with and communicating with. Black men just don’t appeal to me.
I have been trying to get a job in Asia for years so I can meet Asian men. The closest I have come is India. And I turned it down. Indian men aren’t Asian you know.
Again kudos to Sam! Thanks for putting to light about something that’s rarely discussed–blasian relationships. As a black guy who dated a hapa and have always been attracted to Asian women, I feel like I’m not the only one. Keep up the great work Sam and to all the blasian couples–I’m really proud of ya! Stay strong!
I wish there were asian guys who liked black girls in England,UK. But I doubt it. =[
Good article. I’m an educated black male who only dates petite, feminine Asian females. Asian females really know how to act like a lady. I hope to see more bm/aw couples like us around.
The word BlAsian became familiar to me last year, when I searched the internet feverishly for something to ease my mind. Until then I had known of and seen only Asian women with Black men, or Asian wo/men with Caucasian wo/men, which seemed very unfair.
I’m a mix of Black and Caucasian and I’ve been attracted to Asian men since I was very young. I live in Finland and I haven’t seen any BlAsian couples here. I’ve seriously thought about moving to the US (to be closer to my father’s side of the family). Finland’s population is minimal anyway. The chances of me finding an Asian guy who’s into Black girls here is very bleak.
My best friend (also chinese) had a black/filipino girlfriend, and I did notice people looking at all of us when we hung out. To me they seemed fine and happy.
As for myself, growing up in a mostly asian environment makes it hard to meet enough black women. There has been mutual curiosity, but mostly physical and unspoken.
I haven’t seen it mentioned, but a culturally and racially neutral environment to get to know black women as individuals would be great. Race does not scare me, but cultural differences are real.
My name is maria but everybody calls me mia. i’m in a relationship with a vietnamese male, we are actually engaged and will be celebrating our 4th year anniversary. let me tell you his family won’t give me the time of day, but that dosen’t matter because they are all idiots. i have learned that most asian parents aren’t too smart so trust me it will probably to be the hardest relationship you will ever have, but their out there, i”m living proof.
To vallerie G: India is in Asia! Sheesh, look on the map. I’m glad that this is getting more coverage, though I’m a little disturbed that some people are saying Asian men are exotic etc. I wouldn’t want anyone coming to date me because I’m exotic and all that nonsense, I have dumped people for that. I’m not the flavor of the month to be tried out. I want to be dated for me and I will never do that to anyone else.
I am a black female who is right now engaged to an Chinese man . He is the first man that I dated outsiside of my race. i was in China last month to visit his family and was a little nervous because of everything that I heard. His parents were very friendly to me . Made me feel at home. I got along with his siblings as well. He is a good man and would not chhange for the world.
I’m a 40 year old Black woman who has developed a major attraction to Asian men in the last 5-8 years. I can’t say just when I discovered just how gorgeous, intelligent, and masculine some of them are, but since my eyes were opened there has been no turning back. The problem is that it seems that the race relations between blacks and Asians are reminiscence to that of whites and blacks way back in the 50’s, and at my age, I just don’t know if I have the patience to deal with a middle aged man who still needs his parents approval concerning his love interest.
I am not appreciative of this new mix…Asian men suddenly finding black women attractive. I don’t think so, this new mix is all about supply and demand, Asian women are more attracted to white men and white women don’t necessarily find asian male attractive…in comes the black women. Well I say no thanks, I don’t care for being an after thought. I
I am an Indian (Asian) male and attracted to black female.
Hey, thanks for writing this book. I will be sure to order it in the near future.
I’m a Chinese-American male from the Bay Area and AA women show a lot of love to Asian men out here. I’ve been into AA women since I was in elementary school. I think both AA women and Asian men are afraid to ask each other out because of cultural difference. Every time I do it they are just so surprised. I like AA women cause they are curvy and they have nice complexions (esp. caramel), and more outgoing which is very different among Asian women.
For Valerie who has never had ‘Asian’ defined for her:
Indian men ARE Asian…
And I would love to diversify my portfolio and date an Asian just to see how it would turn out. I mean, be open-minded and step outside the box and something good may come out of it, ah?
And for sewad:
Are AA the after-thought? I sort of didn’t follow what you said…
It is so cool to see in this day and age people are broadening their views on dating and attraction to other ethnicities. Something that was taboo before is now becoming more and more common. All i can say is that it is about time. Speaking on a more broad perspective than just the dating aspect, I mean the world today, especially the US is such a melting pot. I feel sorry for countries who are not exposed to other cultures so readily. In fact my best friend now who is from the Philippines never had friends of other races until he met me. His perception of me prior to meeting was based on the images he always saw of Blacks portrayed in the movies (i.e. violent, loud, aggressive, drug dealers, thugs, rappers, athletes yada yada yada). To his surprise I was completely different and he even told me he was so wrong about me, but that’s the image he was fed all his life so I don’t blame him. Today we are the best of friends, more like brothers. His family calls me their other son. prime example of how we can break down these false barriers between our cultures.
We are very fortunate in the US. I’m an African-American male who grew up in a predominantly black community in the suburbs of Washington DC. I now live in Hawaii where it is predominantly Asian. When I first moved here I must admit it was a culture shock, but ever since my first trip to Europe where I was forced to be immersed in unfamiliar culture, I totally embrace diversity and wouldn’t have it any other way. Anyone who has been to Hawaii or know someone from here knows that the people here are some of the most beautiful people in the world due to the mixing of races here. It is so common for someone to be mixed with 10 or more races which makes for a exotic and unique look. My point is that people around the world show follow the example and be as open minded as people in Hawaii about interracial dating. Everyone here from all the various Asian ethnicities, European, Latino, African American, and Polynesian cultures get along without hesitation. Most of my friends are Asian. Not only because that’s the predominant race here, but because I feel I’m more compatible personality wise with them. Nothing against my own race but I think if more people made a conscious effort to have friends of other races, there would be no more racism and the taboo of interracial dating in the world because we would realize just how much we have in common if we take the time to get to know each other. People will always what they don’t understand, but it’s high time people get over these absurd stereotypes or phobias. Interracial dating is inevitable and here to stay. It was only a matter of time before Blasian couples become more prevalent and the fear of public ridicule diminishes.
Case in point are movies like Fakin Da Funk with Filipino actor Dante Basco who was adopted by a black family as a baby and grew up in the hood. As a result he grew up convinced he was black until a sistah played by Tatyana Ali (a Blasian bi-product herself) questions his identity. They eventually work thru their differences and become an item in the movie. Margaret Cho the Korean comedian also stars in the movie as a Chinese exchange student who accidently gets dropped off at the wrong host family’s house in ghetto. It is hilarious and a classic which I recommend people who are intrigued by the whole cohabitation of Black and Asian cultures. Another examples is the Cinderella movie starring Brandy and Filipino actor Paulo Montalban. Of course the most obvious movies that has bridged the East-West gap have been Romeo Must Die with Jet Li and the late Aaliyah and the Rush Hour Trilogy with Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan. So you see it is inevitable that you will start seeing more and more Blasian pair-ups, just a matter of time before a romantic movie with a Blasian couple surfaces. In fact I just saw a trailer of a movie called Akira’s Hip Hop Shop that will be shown at various International Film Festivals. More to come guaranteed.
By the way here’s the trailer for Akira’s Hip Hop Shop starring James Kyson Lee from the hit TV show Heros. He plays a Japanese hip-hopster who owns a record store and who falls for his employee who happens to be a chocolate delite. Hopefully it will be shown in your town during the International Film Festival.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhjxM37-qpk&NR=1
Here’s the websites for additional information:
http://www.akirashiphopshop.com
http://www.myspace.com/akirashiphopshop
sewad2003 , Keep in mind, everybody is an individual, and i dont believe that black women are an after thought in my eyes. Growing up in grade school most of my friends were black, and i found intrest in black women at an early age. As i’ve mentioned before, i’ve been attracted to many races. If ur beautiful, with a great personality ur a prospect.
Keep an open mind
Every situation/person is diffrent
Look inwards and you’ll see their intentions for dating you
Hey,
Sam Cacas your a legend! Finally someone focuses on Asian men and black women relationships.
I’m a black woman from London. My mum is Jamaican and my dad is Half Pakistani and half Guyanese, making me quarter asian!
I have rarely seen an asian man with a black woman but always see asian women with black men, so its so refreshing to hear that it DOES exist out there.
I have been attracted to Asian men for sometime and don’t have a problem attracting Asian men. I’ve been chatted up in public too which i thought was a little weird at first because it had never happened to me before but was very flattered!
I’ve dated black men all my life but have always wanted to date outside my race. I’ve been open minded and curious for as long as i can remember and would definitely like to have a BLAsian relationship someday! I think it would be beautiful to bring two strong cultures together.
Sam, is your novel available to buy in the United Kingdom? I’ve got to get my hands on it!
Smiles ;-)
Where as I think everyone is entitled to live and love as they choose, I find it suspect that this mix is suddenly “OK” for the most part in the Asian/Black communities. Two communities who as recent as the mid 90’s were at odds. I think with staticians stating the obvious lack of a deep dating pool on both ends, we are now looking at each other as propective mates, again I don’t really care for being an after thought…If at some point this mix was somewhat obvious in in any town, even on a minute level before now, my heart could be more accepting, however in my brain it still remains simply mathematical, “suply and demand”.
Shar,
My book is available on Amazon.com or
you can get an autographed copy from me
by going to http://blasianexchangesanovel.blogspot.com or
e-mail me at nobhillwriter@gmail.com
my mother’s father was full-blooded cherokee and her great-grandmother was full-blooded chinese. even though i was reared and self-identify as african-american, i am lucky to have learned long ago that true beauty knows no racial limitations and that women of every race possess something irresistibly beautiful, and i have happily dated women outside of my race for decades. in fact, two of the women who made the strongest impression on me were a korean woman and a puerto rican one. anyway, in the spirit of this discussion, i would love to explore dating asian women. does anyone here know of any sites/links for black men/asian women, especially focused in new york? thanks. and best wishes to all of you folks who are unwilling to let socially-constructed boundaries like race and ethnicity stand in the way of your happiness. the love that people like us create is our best hope for a better, more just world.
I personally think this is great!! I belong to the group Sam moderates and he is a gifted writer and I enjoy the topics and replies he posts on PC. I think Everyone has a right to love, like, etc who they want and it is high time someone publicized ambw couples and not cater to whites all the time. K-U-D-O-S sam <3
This artical brightend my day :) I’m going on two years with my biracial Asian man (half Korean, half white) and I’m black and white so it’s a fun blend! It’s funny to me how people find our relationship odd and we get many stares especially in MS but we hardly notice. We’re engaged and can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together and make our multi-ethnic children and show the world what true beauty is.
For Valerie and anyone else who thinks Indians are not Asians. Stop being ignorant and. Indians most definetly Have been and will continue to be as much Asians as any other country. And please don’t listen to the definition of “ASIAN” that’s taught in the most ignorant culture of the world, the USA.
I am a young african american female of carribean island descent. And people always laughed at me because I was always attracted to Asian men, I have dated a few when I was younger and suprisingly enough I got so much heat from black men and women who would disrespectfully tell us to stick to our own kind. I will never forget when a black man who realized he wasn’t getting anywhere with me said to me “what type of men are you interested in?” “I said I like asian men.” he gave me the most disgusting look I ever saw and out of jealousy he said “I understand you have yellow fever.” I was so shocked at his attitude and statement, he proceeded to stand up and walk away. There is a lot of adversity that a black woman and an asian man will face when dating each other, not to mention the stares and snickering. I live in New York and I have tried all these sites in hoping to find an asian man to date and I have yet to have any luck, I do see blasian couples out here every once in a while. I smile at their love and wish it were me instead. So for all those blasian couples; keep your head up and ignore haters, they will always be around lurking in the darkness trying to bring you down or make you feel guilty for having a certain perference. I could only hope in dream that I would get an asian man, my luck with that has run out as I gotten older. Cherish it, it is one of the most exotic, sensual and fascinating love combinations. Its about time it got popular.
Good Luck Lovers.
i love the article but couldnt help but notice its emphasis on asian men and black women, granted thats the subject of the book, which i plan to pick up. but i am a blasian man and have difficulty where i live meeting blasian women or just asian women in general, being a man that prefers a women more like my mothers ethnicity
I am a single black woman who’s interested in dating Asian men, I always have been. Not even sure how to meet single Asian men in my area. Does anyone have advice for a single beauty in Phoenix
Rebecca,
Go to a singles bar or club where you can see some Asian men. Ask a few of them if they want to dance with you. Roll them up with you booty, rub them up very sexy.
Go home with the one who likes you to his place. Give him a full-body massage, and treat him like a king.
Offer to come back again and cook whatever he wants. When you visit him to cook for him, give another full-body massage, etc.
The key to winning an Asian man is to be very pleasing. Asian men are very traditional and demanding. They like submissive women, and like to boss their women around. I know I’m stereotyping, but what I described to you will work with Asian men.
AP:
Are you “for real”?
Giving such sage advice to someone “black” on how to come on to “Asian” men?
More than ever now, I am convinced “you” are a digital “footprint” in the “sands ” of this website.
I wonder if you are EITHER “man” or “woman.”
The above would jibe with hermaphrodite or, maybe, asexual, as in “just say “No!”
Asian President, please please please….just shaddap. You are insulting BOTH Asian men and Asian women with this nonsense about “back massages” and “submissive women”.
Asian men are no more or less “traditional and demanding” that any other group of men. There are men of all races that fit that profile, but to assign these traits as a cultural trait is incredibly insulting to Asian men and Asians in general.
When will people realize that “asian”president is a troll? He by nature is a pathetic person who likes to go online and say stupid things because he is anti-social. He likes saying ridiculous things because like all cowards, he relishes the protective anonymity of the internet.
In real life, he works at some pathetic dead end job and spends his time spitting in the food of his customers.
Every now and then I do a search on Blasians or Am/Bf relations to see if we are progressing and I am always surprised at my finds. We are growing slowly, there is more awareness being generated online, which I believe is transferring into action now that there is an understanding that there is an attraction in some cases.
It does my heart well, especially being a Black woman married to a Chinese man. Also, I have had plenty of opportunity to date any race of man, some very handsome, so my husband is NOT an afterthought. My husband is very tall and good looking, surprisingly it has been many White women intertested in him and one in particular that was in pursuit that he turned down because he was not attracted. So Sewad, it is not always the case that we are each others last resort, sometimes it’s just fate or chemistry that draws us in and then the overpowering love that takes over us. My husband and I are very much in love and are trying for our first child :)
meowi + anyone else in a BlAsian relationship (past or present): thank you for your post and could you possibly send me an e-mail at nobhilwriter@gmail.com
I am trying to communicate with anyone in a BlAsian relationship (past or present) so I would appreciate hearing from you by e-mail
Take Care,
Sam
Sam,
I’m a Korean guy married to a Black woman, and we’re coming up on our 1 year anniversary… We will read your book, and get in touch with you as well… Thanks for the book.
Hyun Woo,
Atlanta, GA
I remember in junior high school I really admired the black girls because they seemed so happy with themselves and courageous. No one bothered them and I, being the introvert that I was at the time, felt comfortable in their presence since they would not harass me like the white girls or be embarrassed around me like the Asian girls.
I’m SO happy that people are more and more open about their attraction. With all the negative stereotypes about black women and asian men, I believe that the reason this mutual attraction was kept secret was because those two groups feared rejection. Not to mention the pressure of our respective communities. I’ve been aware of my attraction for Asians since teenagehood, I thought nobody was like me. Sure there was Romeo Must Die, but no one talked about it around me, and I didn’t see those couples where I lived. It wasn’t until those internet groups, and videos, that I realized I really wasn’t alone. And I realized these couples have always existed, it’s not a “trend”, it’s real. After all Ne-Yo’s grandfather is chinese and with a black woman. And in the caribbeans it’s a lot more common than in the USA. Major props to Sam Cacas and all the other people (like Joseph Doughrity/Akira’s hiphop shop) who represent us in the media.
It tickles me to see the objection to my “after thought” statement… Asian and blacks in this country have existed side by side for years and never really inter-mingled, but now see each other as viable spousal candidates? Why? For the reason I’ve stated before; even the so called “man” has had more headway with the black female and the black population as a whole……By the way as a Jamaican I can honestly say this is an American phenom. Asian and blacks have inter-mingled and married from the earliest arrivals to the caribbean islands. What’s so different with Asian Americans, did you guys fall hook line and sinker for the colonized mindset, the europeans caste system, for blacks as well as yourselves?
Sewad2003, I guess you were talking to me. My attraction to asians had nothing to do with “media” since I’ve been attracted to them before Romeo Must Die even came out. I see it like this, NeYo’s grandfather is asian, Kelis’ mother is asian. Ashanti’s FATHER is blasian (so his parents are asian and black), these are old generations, it’s not new. I believe it wasn’t “okay” for society but there has always been asians and blacks attracted to each other. In many african countries asian people settle and blasian families are made. There are blasian kids and adults living in Japan or Korea (some being military kids). And when I talked about the carribeans, it’s an Asian-Jamaican girl who told me it was more accepted there. And the mother of another acquaintance of mine is blasian and from Trinidad, she’s about my mother’s age, clearly her parents weren’t from our generation. I guess we won’t agree on this one.
Sewad…my bad! I misread your comment. You were saying it was common in the carribeans (and not refuting it, which I initially thought) while in the usa it looks more like a trend. Alright, if you think so you’re totally entitled to it, but I know I didn’t choose to be attracted to them (which happened before the media talked about it) and the american people I’ve talked about inter-mingled before Romeo/Akira and the stats.
There are a number of half asian children and much like half white children, for the most part the children are offsprings of black men. This article is about the asian male/black female dynamic, which I along with many feel is emerging because of the lack of dating pool of eligible black men for black women and asian females for asian men; because of gravitations to caucasians. The dating pool deficit is hughe for the BW and AM, yet the AM/BW mix is extremely minute, it’s barely registers as a demagraphic. However, this demagraphic does exist in part because of the dating pool deficits .
I still don’t believe we’re “each other’s afterthoughts” stats or not. It’s a small percentage of AM and BW being attracted to each other, the main reason they never dared to date interracially was because they thought the other gender didn’t find them attractive, many thought they were “alone” feeling attracted to BW or AM. I, for exemple, didn’t dare to imagine the possibilities with AM cause I thought AM being attracted to BW didn’t exist. Then I heard of NeYo’s grandfather, then Sam’s story, then a few other couples and stories. The internet only makes you realize that a few others feel like you. AM have never been an afterthought for me, always on top of my list. I’ve been learning about asian cultures and languages (studying 3) long before the media took notice of AMBW. With the amount of negative stereotypes these two groups have to face individually I really do think there has to be love for them to be willing to face twice as much crap together. I can’t picture a man going through ALL of this, facing family, friends, society, just for the sake of “not being alone” (in a country where there’s a lot less pressure over marriage than most countries of the world), wooing, dating, marrying and having kids with a woman he’s just not attracted to.
FYI …Black-Asian Families with Children is a global MSN webgroup that exists for families to get connected with other families similar to ourselves to share interesting stories, perspectives, photos, joys, frustrations…and just everyday life stuff. Come check it out: http://www.groups.msn.com/BlackAsianFamilieswithChildren
For ten years, I traveled and worked in various countries in Asia. Most of that time was spent in Japan and the Philippines. As an African American man, I was welcomed warmly in all of the countries that I visited. It became very evident to me in my dealings with people that I encountered that there are more similarities between our cultures than some would have use believe. Without realizing it you are a bridge between two cultures. I applaud your accomplishment Sam!
Folks:
How many of you noted the prevalence and emphasis on black and Asian in the recent 29th Olympiad opening and closing ceremonies?
Aside from the obvious political stances and cants, said spectacle, incredible logistics, stagings, timings, AND performances that defy credibility, I, for one, at least in the official CCTV DVD account, was pleasantly surprised.
The “West,” Eurocentric and pouting, diss’d the event, to their disadvantage, even in the political, since the proof of this pudding is incontrovertible in the filmed record.
The on-site NBC account no doubt provided some kernels of corn that weren’t popped before the amazed eyes of this globe, but, even if the CCTV version edited out the Bush/Putin bit, the six hours-plus more than overwhelmed.
I had thought it impossible to follow the “opening,” with or without the digital and “synch’d” vocals, but the “closing” was every bit as fascinating, overlong and tiring as it was.
But, medals standing irrelevant in this regard, Beijing 2008 will likely be sui generis, insofar as it would seem impossible to reproduce, much less surpass.
Yes, the choreographed fringes and the concerted fireworks and the near-overuse of cinematic kung-foolishness almost cancel themselves.
But the essence, the heart, the core of these rites and reduxes remained inviolate. Essentially, that is.
Jacques Rogge, like his inscrutable opposite?, was dignitas incarnate, but it was the Olympians themselves, each and every one seemingly young and comely and altogether huamn, who made the case.
Africans and Asians, did others too not how “Asian” the ’stans were? And even if the Eurocentrics were upstaged, nothing could obscure the fact that this Olympiad celebrated one and all, small or humongous, confident and guarded.
And the “Chinese” themes morphed into western technology sans tremor. “Kung-fu” never looked less exotic and more lyric dance, pure and flowing and oddly nonnational, flowing sleeves and pant-omime aside.
The Brits, willy-nilly, had to figure in the finale, and if they are wise, they will open a new aperture come 2012 rather than try to “compete.”
That little double-decker passing of the torch was a real charmer, and the postlude a spontaneous replay of much of the parade of nations.
So, listen up, all you detractors and naysayers.
Nancy missed an exciting party, although one wonders if Bush reconsidered his initial “look” into “eyes” that revealed a “comrade.”
Frank Eng
P.S.: Has anyone else noted ANY post-event evaluations in the MSM? Focus on the Palindrome is no excuse for NOT evaluating such a turning point in “Western” athletics AND “cultural” perceptions thereof. In this view, Jupiter, in ALL his guises, should have been as pleased as Punchinello. Oh, and will some kind soul vouchsafe the major credits here? Like who conceived the whole, and who the “designers” were.
P.P.S.: Wikipedia’d both “fireworks” and “gunpowder,” and discovered the “facts” that “Chinese” “alchemists,” read physicists/chemists of the day, “discovered” the effects of saltpetre around the time of Christ, the First Century that is, and then centuries later, the properties of sulfur in combo, followed in the 12th by FIREWORKS, baby. Ah, those clever “Chinee,” godless as they remain.
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I am a black girl that likes Asian guys too. In fact a asian name Yue guy likes me. He calls me beautiful alot and when ever he sees me he shyly gets close to me and starts talking to me in fact today at school(college) He saw me and walked to me with a smile and started a small convesation with me before he went to class. Last night he called me on the phone and he shyly told me again “You are very beautiful”. Before we got this close to each other, I had a big crush on his chinese friend, but Yue was the one would would always talk to me . He is so sweet and shy. I work at school at an internation building Call Pace Hall at TROY University in Troy Alabama. Anyway, I looked up from my computer screen and saw him standing at the door smiling at me. I smiled and told him to come in and sit by me and my chinese girlfriend. He asked me do you still remember your chinese name I gave you and I said yes, Mei Li he laugh shyly when my friend looked at him shocked with a smile. He told her that Mei Li fits me. I smiled shyly. In english Mei Li means “beautiful”. Then my friend asked him something in chinese. He laugh shyly and coved his face with his hands. I looked at her and she winked her eye at me with a smile. I hope that we will become a good Blasian couple wish me luck please:) By the way I am 18 and he is 22.
Its peace to see all the comments interestingly enough most of them were positive. Even though I personally don’t agree with having numerous different relationships for the sake of experience I do respect the fact that people are honest about there fears. The Kat from D.C said it perfectly we have got to destroy societies stupid viewpoints and live out out lives. People are People and what tends to influence people most is there family upbringing and environment. What is race who made up the idea to seperate people like that anyway?
My point is take the stand its your life and the people who want to stay ignorant well don’t let them make decisions for you. I got 3 lil Polynesian Cambodian Indian Black European and then some children and all I teach them about is LOVE cause that’s what binds all nations. And for those mixed blacks don’t let society bind you to one dimension appreciate all of you cause it gives you perspective its hard to knock something thats a part of you even if you don’t relate to it.
Well am a British African and where i come from there has always been interraction between filipinos and blacks especially fillipinos men and black women i really started to notice this when i started sixth form at 16. I think this attraction is there because blacks and fillies in East london where i come from have a lot in common in terms of music, dance and cultural unbringing. Personally i had never been thought about Asian guys until i started seeing the interaction at sixth form. I don’t understand the whole thing about Asain guys being shy were i am from that far very the case maybe it’s the influence of the ethnic british culture. Personally i tend to find myself attracted to dark skin, but i really don’t have a type i am one of those people that take my time to be myself around others so when have a connection with someone i have a connection it;s really not about race or the outer apperance, it’s about that person’s energy.
When you love someone you also end up falling for the outer apperance too.
I am a mixed college student, but I identify as Black and I’m currently dating a Vietnamese man. Throughout my life, I’ve been attracted to Asian Men and I’ve been looking for the coupling since I started high school back in ‘04. It wasn’t until this ‘07 that I found a site where Asian men and Black women come together. My boyfriend’s family likes me enough to let him date me, which I’m very pleased as some of my Asian male friends have tried to steer me away from dating outside my “race” though my Black friends are cool with it.
Sam, I give you kudos for your work! I’m planning to buy the book, but I feel that you’re really doing the community justice. I love the fact that you write as one voice for both ethnicities. I’m happy that you’ve found yourself in Black women and that you wrote a book about BlAsian love. It’s truly inspires me to make a comic or write a book myself about this beautiful branch of love. =]
Well duhhh, black men always run and get with asian women..
Some guyy said in the comments here, and he was black btw : “asian women know how to act like ladys”
Then get yourr ass outta here.
I’m glad THIS article was made, because Asian Men with Black Women, are not given enough light.
>and then centuries later, the properties of sulfur in combo, followed in the 12th by FIREWORKS, baby. Ah, those clever “Chinee,” godless as they remain.
And don’t forget how those clever Europeans worked out quantum theory, which led to invention of LEDS, among many other things and fields, like transistors and lasers to name a few. Those millions of LEDS weren’t merely decor at the Beijing Olympics. The whole show as it were depended heavily on the little high tech gems, the scroll, the big ball, most of the performers festooned one way or another. That show would have been impossible without em. Some genuflections to Bohr, Heisenberg, Schrodinger, Planck, Dirac… and so many more.
Hey, Stentor:
Quantum “theory” is still that, a theory.
As for the :new” Physics, well and good.
But, then, Jane Robertse’ “Seth” explains same in considerably more logica.and “complete” theorem her/his posit, that “energy” and “matter” are two “asspsects” or ‘”timings” of the identiczal “wave,” of which we puny mortals are less than hip, being blindered and schnoggered by the fact that “within:” the box we’re “boxed” in, such erukdition AND perception is IMPOSSIBLE.
It was a great article and I will be purchasing that book soon enough.
I have always believed that there a was an obvious dynamic that exists between African American Women and Asian Men. I do believe that it is more predominant on the west coast as the Asian population is greater, for example in California in comparison to New York (where I’m from)…
As an Filipino male growing up in the Bronx I was one of the few Asians in the locale and have always had an attraction to black women, its just something about the their beautiful skin tone and personalities that I found very enthralling. However it was quite difficult to find a black woman that felt the same way about me. Luckily for me (and one of the reasons why i love black women) black women found me, and were bold enough to express their feelings.
A previous poster wanted an Asian Man’s perspective on the whole BLASIAN epidemic, (lol) and I can honestly say that “its about time” someone acknowledged its existence. Black women are beautiful and strong creatures and I have always found them to be nurturing and loving. Not to mention that I am so physically attracted to their gorgeous bodies (yes folks, I am a big booty man, lol). I have been with my fiance’ who is is of Trinidadian descent for almost a year and we plan to wed within a year or so, and I must say its a privilege being with her. She treats me like a king and in return she relishes all the benefits of being my queen. We love each other dearly and deal with the same issues that any other couple would encounter and then some.
Living in NYC we still get a lot of looks and stares, however we have become somewhat accustomed to this and have developed ways of dealing with it. In the end nobody’s funny looks or disrespectful comments can interfere with how much we cherish each other. In my experience we have garnered more negative attention from other African American females who find our unity to be odd or just plain weird. My friends who have known me and most that have grown up with me, have never had an issue since they have always seen with Black women. I feel that they would find it odd if I wasn’t with a Black woman.
In closing, I would like to say that it doesn’t matter what color someone is, because we cannot deny Love. You do not fall in love with someone because of their race, you fall in love with them because of how much you care and feel for them as a person. I have always believed that people opinions don’t matter, especially in terms of whom I am with. The only matter that is of concern to me is the opinion of the woman that I come home to and lay in bed with at night.
To those already in the “BIAsian” relationships, good job! I am the product of this type of relationship. My mother is of Japanese ancestry; in fact, I was born in Japan, while my father is an African native but of mixed nationality, i.e. Nigerian and Ethiopian. As an adult living in the mid-west, I am treated like an Afro-American most often; even though I identify with all of who I am despite how I may be treated by society, generally. This is what led me to this article and to respond to it below.
First, I must disagree with the author in his comment that these sorts of relationships are a recent phenomena, i.e. 1990’s forward. I hate to admit that I am much older than the proposed era referenced by this author. As such, I am familiar with relatives and friends who are of similar ethnic heritages; though admittedly, markedly limited in number when compared with the plain old white plus black OR plus asian mix, so often seen today.
Personally, I’ve dated a variety of races and ethnicities, but I am especially attracted to my Asian counterparts, yet have found that they are quite uncomfortable initially because of the stereotypes they’ve chosen to believe about blacks. Unfortunately, my relationships with these men haven’t panned out in the long-term; thus lending credence to the “myth” asserted above.
Next, kudos for quashing the “nerd” stereotype that is so eagerly given to many beautiful Asian men. I do fully agree that there is a societal ambivalence towards Asian men, generally.
Finally, I like that this article opens eyes to possibility of modern Afro & Asian relationships. I would like to see something more extensive in the future, though.