Dear Q,
I am a Vietnamese-Chinese American female who works in a sales department and is part of the team that decides promotions. About one-third of the department is African American, and I really enjoy working with them. They are fun, tell great jokes, and are educated and articulate about race relations. They also do great work.
There’s one black girl who I thought deserved the promotion, but in the end, I gave it to another girl who is white. I don’t think that our customers — who are generally conservative — can appreciate or relate to the style and communication of this particular black colleague. Since both candidates were equal, I had to use at least one criterion to make my decision. I don’t regret the criterion, but I feel guilty. Neither knows about this, but I feel like I ought to say something to my black colleague to increase her chances next year. What do you think?
— Not A Racist
Dear Not A Racist,
You shouldn’t tell her unless you never want to visit the water cooler again. Personnel gossip moves very quickly.
Telling your black colleague won’t help her get promoted or make her feel better. And, believe me, you won’t feel better because she’ll feel worse.
Why do you enjoy the company of your black colleagues but assume your customers would not? All things being equal means that you should have chosen the candidate from the underrepresented group. A commitment to a multiracial work force and society requires it.
And allocating power would have only been your first step. You could then have worked with your black colleague to ensure her success. Just imagine how the other black (and also white) colleagues would feel to see her in a higher position, and what it might mean for their chances and the likelihood that they will stay.
I realize that you’ve written this letter to assuage your own guilt. I’m sure the white girl’s thrilled. Gee, a white person in authority, abetted by an Asian American woman — how novel. Just keep your trap shut and be good to all your colleagues. You made an irreversible mistake in a moment of weakness. Forgive yourself and keep it all in mind next time you’re asked to pull the lever.
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