He’s Too Short!
March 21, 2008
Dear Q,
I’m taller than my boyfriend even when I’m not in heels. It feels awkward most of the time, and it’s glaring in pictures. We just look a little off.
He’s the sweetest man in the world, and we are very serious and have talked about getting engaged down the line. I’m very clear on my feelings for him, and the sex is fantastic. It’s just his height. I’m 5’4” and he’s 5’1”. I’m self-conscious walking down the street with him because I think people are looking, and in my mind, I want to be one of those ideal couples. Sometimes I feel like I’m physically with my little brother. It doesn’t feel like shame or pity as much as it just doesn’t seem natural. I can’t imagine going into GapKids to shop for his clothes even though he sometimes gets things from there. It is the only issue for me to overcome to commit to him totally, and I seem unable to do it.
When we have talked about it, he tells me he’s dealt with it all his life, and he thinks I will come around as well. But not caring about what other people think is not an option for me. Is there anything I can do?
— Woman in Heels
Dear Heel(s),
No.
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Comments
12 Responses to “He’s Too Short!”
Got something to say?
Q! Hahaha! That’s rough, man!
that’s hysterical! what a shallow girl
She CAN do something. Stop imagining what other’s are thinking and just love each other and have fun!
Substance is worth more in the long run than image. If you truly love him then height does not matter. If he was taller than you, maybe physically he feels that he is with his little sister? Societies view points are only taken in so much. Sooner or later you will have to dig deep inside of yourself to find what out what your truly made of. Either way it is your choice and only you can make that choice.
Try to realize you are lucky to have a great guy and even if you were to get with a taller guy, he may not be that great! Realize there’s more than meets the eye…
why is everyone posting with such sincerity? she’s obviously NEVER going to get over this. can you imagine when they have an argument all the name-calling and things she’ll say. and it’s not an image thing. how tall men are impacts how masculine we view them. period. let’s just say he’s got a sucky situation and she’s a totally sucky girlfriend.
See my comments on this letter on my blog at http://www.amok.asianweek.com
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Dear heel girl,
stop over thinking things! if the sex is great and you have a great time hanging out together, just keep doing it. If you have underlying issues that won’t go away, eventually you’ll lose your excitement for him and things will naturally break off. Even if you guys have gone down that road to a stronger commitment and suddenly you feel the fire’s gone out, you can still break it off then. There’s no shame in that.
on the other hand, maybe you will get over it and some how start thinking about his height as being a sexy factor.
you’ll never know unless you keep pursuing your passions! just don’t be afraid of it not working out down the line. Enjoy what you got today!
Hey Heels, you should live your life with image as your only value. That way, social norms can do all of your thinking for you, and you just have to follow the crowd. Remember, nice guys finish last, and short guys just don’t cut it. So just find a tall, rich, white guy, and you can be happy forever!
My first reaction to this letter was that this woman is really immature. But, I honestly think that most women would not have gone this far with a man who is 5′1″, so I really have to give her props for that. She clearly is not the most close-minded person in the world.
But, really, he is never going to get any taller. She neds to value her feelings for this man more than what other people may or may not think about him.
Everyone here is discounting Heel’s feelings. They may be superficial, cruel, and stupid. But that’s not the point. These are her feelings, she is clearly having trouble with them, and she probably won’t change any time soon (if ever). Heels, if this bothers you so much, you need to find another man who you are able to dedicate your whole heart to, because no good man deserves anything less. You’d be doing him a favor.