William Hung: Head of the Class
May 3, 2008
Kimora Claims Full Custody
Kimora Lee Simmons wants custody of her two daughters, Ming and Aoki, with Russell Simmons. But first, she’ll have to prove that parenting can be done without swilling a full daily cocktail of “fabulosity” or, as they call it in other places, vodka. In other news, Russell Simmons certainly has a thing for models — and young ones. He allegedly started dating Lee when she was a teen runway model, and after they broke up, he was spotted with 23-year-old model Denise Vasi and America’s Next Top Model cycle four winner Naima Mora in 2006. The 50-year-old is now with 25-year-old model Porschla Coleman.
William Hung Hangs Up Music Career
American Idol season one karaoke train wreck William Hung has finally realized that his staccato singing is the equivalent of Stephen Hawking doing opera, and that his true calling is — wait for it — teaching math. Of course, he won’t tell his students about dropping out of U.C. Berkeley’s civil engineering program to chase fame. He’s now at Cal State Northridge getting his degree in math education and told the student newspaper: “I think teaching is more exciting.”
Scene and Heard
“If I was going to dinner at a Chinese restaurant, I would wear a kimono — it makes it more fun.”
— Kelly Osbourne, quoted in the U.K.’s Guardian, proving that maybe Miss Teen USA 2007 South Carolina did have a point after all about a map shortage epidemic.
Miso Goes Bach to the Future
Johann Sebastian Bach has been pickling in his tomb since 1750, but modern-day miso makers are now pickling soy bean paste to Bach. Marujyu’s “Bahha no Yuraku Kyoichiraku” is the new luxury miso for the Japanese, bringing food snobbery to the next level because nothing tastes better than food raised classier than Suri Cruise. Just watch out for the ume pickled to Celine Dion — it’s deadly (just kidding).
Steven Seagal Invades AZN
Steven Seagal arrived at the AZN Asian Excellence Awards this year — but why? “He’s the worst show I’ve ever seen at the Fillmore,” an industry insider said of Seagal’s new career as a musician. “Steven collects guitars, and he used a different one for each song. It was pretty ridiculous, since there were only about a hundred people in the audience and almost all of them were impersonators.” And be prepared for the worst book ever: Seagalogy: A Study of the Ass-Kicking Films of Steven Seagal, a 352-page book just released by Ain’t It Cool News film critic Vern. Why no one broke Vern’s wrist to prevent him from unleashing the Seapocalypse is beyond me.
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As godawful and terrible his singing was, you gotta admit that William Hung had both the gall and balls to do what he did. For him to make a fool of himself before the public eye and walk away with his head held high, that definitely takes a sheer amount of courage and determination to do that! Kudos to you William!