Snoop Dogg Goes to Bollywood
July 15, 2008
Snoop Dogg is so over West Coast versus East Coast. These days it’s all about another shade of brown: India. Dogg has joined Bollywood superstar Akshay Kumar for the film Singh is Kinng. Kumar and Snoop are just tickled pink about the partnership and are set to officially start throwing lyrics when the pair meets in Chicago next month. If anything, Kumar and Dogg can bond over one common interest: womanizing. Kumar is known for being India’s answer to James Bond.
Goh Nakamura Gets on the Bus
Goh Nakamura will be rushing back to town from New York City from a tight, stuffy and cramped airliner to squeeze into a tight, stuffy and cramped bus for a special performance on July 19. I ran into the man, dubbed by fans as “the Asian John Cusack,” at Doc’s Clock Bar in the Mission, where he claimed that his life isn’t as glamorous as it’d seem. “I usually just geek out somewhere on my laptop. Listen to a lot of music. I’m pretty au naturel.” Though something tells me that if you decide to join this Saturday, you shouldn’t be au naturel unless we can crack a window. Visit http://www.www.projectsoundwave.com/series for information.
Cho A Hot Tranny Mess at Vh1 Rock Honors
Margaret Cho arrived at the VH1 Rock Honors on July 12 wearing all of Spring 2008’s hottest fads in one slap-n-dash package. She sported sheer, polka dot, boots, yellow, a teeny-weenie bag and bangs all at the same time with the panache of a drunk grannie going nuts at Goodwill.
Benihana Founder, Aoki, Dead at 69
Rocky Aoki, a former wrestler and founder of the infamous Benihana franchise restaurants who made the gerry curls look pimp on an Asian, died on July 12. He was 69 years old. Aoki was honored in San Francisco last year by the U.S. Pan Asian American Chamber of Commerce at the Westin St. Francis, which was attended by his third wife, Keiko Ono Aoki, and favorite child, actress/model Devon Aoki. Son Steve (aka DJ Kid Millionaire) and half-sister, Devon, are the only heirs not named in a 2006 suit over control of the Benihana empire.
A-Rod’s Wife Blows Cash with Kravitz
Alex Rodriguez’s soulmate, Cynthia, couldn’t take the news when he served the papers - so she did what any reasonable, recently dumped spouse would do: grab her hottest (platonic) boyfriend, fly to Paris and get some serious retail therapy. Kravitz and Ex-Rod spent $100,000 on pampering and primping - an amount big enough to make any starving post-grad salivate over the possibility of a good credit record. Alas, A-Rod has apparently been lured to the dark side of Kabbalah (under the tutelage of Madonna herself) and was spotted frequenting her apartment while also allegedly keeping another secret apartment just a few blocks away in NYC; and it doesn’t look good for either of them with Madonna’s brother’s tell-all spiking the discussion boards online. Madge and company plead innocent but at least Ex-Rod’s stimulating the economy better than that $600 check that went nowhere.
Sharon Stone Offered Brain Scan For Signs of IQ
While PETA is still up in arms about Pamela Anderson’s recent statement tee, the animal rights activists are loudly pondering whether the recently fired face of Dior can legitimately think before acting. “Scientific studies suggest that the prefontal regions of the brains of people who lack empathy might be underdeveloped,” PETA wrote in a letter, followed by an open proposition for a free brain scan in case Stone had a “physical defect.” Fortunately, PETA killed two birds with one - er, I mean - thankfully, PETA was wise enough to also mention Stone’s twisted interpretation of karma and “acts of God” (referring of course to her statements on the Chinese earthquakes taken at Cannes), though they admit that “We are used to the indifference that you flaunt and the callous remarks that you make about the suffering and death of the animals whose fur you wear so often.”
Hudgens and Tisdale set to Implode for New Starlet
My how quickly the Disney devours her own children: while Ashley Tisdale is having a crying fit over filming of High School Musical: 3 and Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Effron are still dealing with rumors of his questionable sexuality - another star is already breaking out with the prerequisite fan wallpaper, widget application, celeblog, YouTube channel, the works. Selina Gomez, who had her start playing a cheeky toddler in Barney & Friends, showed that she, too, has incredibly hot boy friends. Brothers in fact: The Jonas Brothers. Unlike Hudgens, who recently blamed “stupid people” for putting her naked photos on the web, Gomez and the Jonases have vowed to keep their respective panties on with promise rings stating that “True Love Waits.” I guess all Hudgens and Miley Cyrus were waiting for was a camera flash.
Art Thieves Heist White Walls
Sylvia Ji paints beautiful women with a dark, hipster palette reminiscent of sticky dive bars, nicotine, cold brews and the wafting odor of hotdogs sizzling in spitting bacon fat dotting Mission Street past 16th - which is why the recent theft of two of her prized paintings from White Walls Gallery has the local SF Bay Arts Community up in arms about the mystery lowlife. “Whoever did it has got guts,” remarked a local curator. “White Walls Gallery has a lot of winding rooms, and it’d be tough to make it out with those paintings.” Fecal Face website administrators stressed that the heist did not occur during the art reception, and that artists Clare Rojas and Barry McGee also suffered a similar theft recently from the private/permanent collection on display at RVCA in the Haight. “It’s not like the artists make money off the sales, and now this? What a dirtbag.”
Mark-Paul Gosselaar Gets Shaggy
Mark-Paul Gosselaar has ditched the brunette crop for a shaggy flop-around hairdo worthy of the Scott Speedman Award for Romance Novel Hair - but at least it’s light years away from the cheesy blonde hair he sported during his Saved By The Bell years with Mario Lopez! Gosselaar, who’s Dutch and Indonesian, was spotted lurking about the Beverly Hilton Hotel on Fri., July 11, for the Television Critics Association’s summer conference. Gosselaar’s unemployment streak will soon be over with a new gig on TNT’s Raising the Bar, a show about - you guessed it, genius - lawyers. Let’s hope there aren’t any short skirts and dancing babies.
Nia Long Appearing in Cleveland
Suck it, Ohio. Nia Long isn’t dropping by your city anytime soon. Rather, the Black-Filipino actress will be dropping her voice on the long-anticipated Family Guy spinoff cartoon, The Cleveland Show, about everyone’s favorite emasculated chunky monkey. Try not to sell your TV to pay the rent just yet: the show doesn’t premiere until 2009 and will feature Cleveland’s propitious reunion with his high school sweatheart, Donna, and Long starring as his wise-cracking step-daughter. There’s also a family of talking bears and the guy that voiced the evil pimple from Family Guy, who apparently shares the same name as a Backstreet Boy. Set your TiVos to “record.”
QUOTE:
“I want to help my kids, but I want my children to crawl, to walk, then run on their own. Then I help them. But they can’t even crawl. They just collect money and do nothing. What else they want? Can’t wait till I’m dead?”
– Rocky Aoki in 2006 interview with NY magazine
50 Cent Woos Kilmer with Money and Songs
There’s a new power couple in town, and it’s as oddball as that horrible Arnold Schwarzenegger/Danny de Vito buddy movie in the ’80s. Rapper 50 Cent and Val Kilmer have been tighter than Lindsay Lohan on Sam Ronson ever since they met on the set of Felon (Streets of Fire). Was it “bromance” at first sight? 50 Cent allegedly handed over a $100,000 1965 Chevy Impala to his costar, and now there’s word of a musical collab in the works. “I don’t think he’s going to produce a song, but he really likes one of my songs. I told him my idea for it, and he wants to help. He’s officially my new friend,” Kilmer told Contact Music. And, apparently, a chubby chaser, too. Somebody get the man a frappaccino, highlights and some hot pants - we have another Nicole Ritchie in the making.
Bollywood Goes Green
Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai might hock hair dyes when she’s not starring in the next epic musical dance-a-long, but the normally hennaed actress isn’t afraid to let her eco-roots show. The Unforgettable Tour kicks off July 18 in Toronto, Canada, with fellow Indian stars Amitabh Bachchan and Shilpa Shetty to discuss the effects of global warming on Earth’s climate. The tour will hopefully be less scandalous for Shetty who, with the help of Richard Gere, was lamblasted last year for “public indecency” when Gere swept her in his arms and dramatically made out with her onstage during an AIDS Awareness event. The month-long tour will feature, of course, a gazillion dance routines - all choreographed by Shiamak Davar.
Naomi Heals Kate’s Heart Break
Normally, it’s Naomi Campbell’s job to crack someone else’s bones with a good uppercut - but when it comes to the squishy, mushy stuff, the former supermodel still wears her heart on her sleeve. At least, when it comes to BFF Kate “Cokie Caine” Moss. “I am so lucky to have friends like Kate, who are there for me whatever. Even if we are not on the same continent, we support each other. That’s what best friends do,” Campbell told Contact Music. “I’m there for her, without a doubt, if she’s going through relationship problems or any troubles. We’ve been through so much together.” Yeah, from photoshoots to public breakups to addiction, rehab and parole hearings. That’s a keeper.
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