Dear Q:
My Chinese American boyfriend is a stereotypical tech geek and addicted to his gadgets. He will look at his PDA, cell, check his email, surf the Web and text while we’re together—in the car, over dinner, while I’m in the middle of a sentence. When we’re not together, he’s on his laptop.
He knows it makes me crazy. We’ve talked about it, but he hasn’t changed (though he stops after I nag him to death). What can I do to make him stop ignoring me?
— Live Girl in the Flesh
Dear LGITF,
If he’s ignoring you after you’ve complained and talked, it’s time to leave his sorry ass. He can have all his online memberships and machines and even have sex with his cell phone — but you won’t be around for any of it. That’s radical, but I believe that change only comes in radical fashion. By the way, Asian American men from teens to late 20s spend more time online than any other demographic.
If you’re still interested in staying with this loser, tell him that:
• when you go the movies/restaurant/shopping, he has to leave all that junk in his car;
• if he intends to play games/ text/surf, you don’t need to see him during those hours;
• you don’t want to die in a car accident, so he cannot check his PDAs while driving;
• he should get out and play basketball/grab a beer with his friends/volunteer so that he can take pleasure in being around live human beings;
• he will be virtually — a good adverb to throw around with this guy — unemployable, unless he wants to work in IT because his interpersonal talents are nonexistent;
• your parents hate this quality about him (don’t mention the other qualities they hate);
• you would also like to be involved in his online world. You two could play set up a blog, or he could teach you skills like HTML — so you could set up your own Web site to start attracting and dating other men, and
• you feel the way you do and it’s not good. Being around your girlfriend is not the same thing as being with a girlfriend, so it’s time for him to switch on in your direction.
If none of these things work, leave his sorry ass.
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Have you looked at the positive qualities that you still love about him?
pull out ALL of his plugs and tell him to take it or you leave him
positive qualities can’t over ride not listening. this relationship sounds uneven. if the advice doesn’t stick, leave him as manny says.
Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a large assortment of all types of apps vs a instead unfortunate selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, in particular in the realm of games, but I’m not confident I’d want to bet on the long term if this feature is essential to you. The iPod is a very much much better choice in that circumstance.