My boyfriend is fat: He has fat fingers, fat calves, fat shoulders and a fat face. We’ve been together eight years, and while I didn’t expect him to stay as handsome as when I met him, he’s let himself go a lot and we’re suffering with this in the bedroom and in other ways. He doesn’t want to go on a diet and the doctor said he’s in good health. But he’s too much for me. What can I say to get him to stop getting even fatter?
– Dating an Overeater
We want to be forgiving when evaluating people purely on a physical level, but let’s face it: Even Asians in America are fat. And it’s no great mystery why: Asian fusion cuisine is laden with fat and cooked in saturated oils, not to mention that white rice puts more fat on the body than brown.
Develop a sensible way to eat with your fat boyfriend. Don’t pluck the pork out of his chopsticks mid-flight, but make it a shared sacrifice: You are going to both eat less and healthier. Join a food-bank farm and eat God’s incredible produce.
Don’t get obsessed about the FB’s charts and measurements; if he wants a Snickers, just let him have it. The great thing about going through a process to get the body you want is that your body will change what it wants to eat. I drink more water when I exercise because I get really thirsty, for example, which is key to part two: The FB has to exercise. Not only for the obvious reasons, but he will be happier and want to stay height and weight proportionate. Key word: endorphins.
Also, my masseur-friend told me that fat people book appointments with him because no one else will touch them. You have to touch the FB. Give him a foot massage, caress him all over, take sweet baths together and show him that his body is one you feel is worth caring about.
But equally important, you have to say flat out: “Honey, when we first started going out I thought you were Chow Young Fat, but now you’re just …” Or tell him that you want to be with a guy you think is hot and trying to be sexy for you. The college try gets points here.
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