Momma’s Racist

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madeline

Eugene, what is going on with you on Top Chef? The innovation and adaptability you showed with your makeshift grill weeks ago has turned into a constant need to come up with quick fixes, and the judges aren’t having it.

Case in point: After failing to save his overly sticky rice last week, Eugene used cornstarch to thicken a Korean-style broth he picked up from his mother-in-law. Too bad home guru Martha Stewart hated it. Even worse, Eugene got mad at her! You do not question Martha, dude.

Eugene’s methods (and attitude) failed to improve in the Elimination Challenge, when even his story about the Golden Ring in the South Pacific couldn’t save the overly sweet pineapple rings in his dish. Again, Eugene refused to see anything wrong with his meal, standing by his dish “1000 percent.”

The judges commented, “He just doesn’t want to see that it’s not good” and “This guy thinks he’s got the answers.” Harsh feedback, and Eugene is lucky that no one was sent home. The way he’s dodging bullets, he’s shifted modes from MacGyver to the Matrix.

Radhika, on the other hand, landed in the top four after all the chefs movingly united to help her after her meat spoiled. Plus, the flavoring wasn’t Indian themed! Truly admirable work.

New dating/creepiness show Momma’s Boys premiered, introducing us to two Asian American women vying for some reason for the affections of three young men and, to a certain extent, their mothers. Callie Stilwell is a graduate student from St. Louis, and Madeleine Aseron is a public relations student from Georgia with a thick southern accent. My question for them: why?

Actually, the real question on everyone’s mind is how they found mom Khalood Bojanowski, an Iraqi American woman who is horrifyingly outspoken about the kind of girl she wants for her son. “I can’t have a Jewish girl,” she states frankly in the audition video that the girls watch. “I just can’t see that white and black thing, so I cannot have a black one…I can’t have my son JoJo falling love with an Asian girl…I can’t have a mixture at all. No mixture. It has to be a white girl.”

Lest you think it’s only race she’s concerned with, she also rules out girls from divorced families, tall girls and “fat butt” girls. Needless to say, the girls were shocked at “Mrs. B’s” harsh words. Callie even shed tears after watching the video, filled with disbelief that anyone’s mother could say such things and thankful for her own parents, who are open about who she dates.

It’s no surprise that little time passed before a screaming fight broke out between Mrs. B and one of the African American girls, ending with both names and martini glasses thrown. It is with relief, then, that I report that both Callie and Madeleine were eliminated in the second episode. Nary a word was heard from the former, but the latter called the guys “freaking morons.” They’re really the least of the show’s problems, Mad.

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