International Feng Shui Master Shows You How to Thrive in Today’s Economy
February 25, 2010
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A faltering economy and unstable job market is leaving many uncertain about their futures. Joey Yap plans to change that by using feng shui and astrology to help prepare people to flourish in 2010 in their careers, health, and relationships by capitalizing on their best dates in their astrological forecast. Read more
Singapore American Business Association Celebrates LNY
February 9, 2010
Over 300 people gathered at the Mayflower Restaurant on Saturday, February 6, 2010 for the Singapore American Business Assocation’s Annual Lunar New years Dinner.
The Association was founded almost 20 years ago to foster relations with America and Singapore.
Guests were treated to a 10 course typical Cantonese Chinese New Years Dinner preceded by firecrackers and the Lion Dance.
Board Members Sharon Sim-Krause, William Chang and Isabelle Lee
Photo and story by Foto-SF, Ltd.
Wealth Building Attitudes, Values, and Habits
January 11, 2010
“To master the world, one must first master one’s self.” - Chinese Proverb
Success can be defined many ways. We can be successful at work, in school or with our relationships. We can measure success by how happy we are with ourselves, and whether we feel a sense of purpose in this world. We can evaluate success by how much money we make.
Today, let’s take a look at some characteristics of millionaires.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average U.S. household will earn close to $1.5 million during a 30-year work span in today’s dollars. The choices people make with this money go a long way in determining their ultimate financial success or failure.
Here are some of the key characteristics of millionaires in the United States, based on the Spectrem Group Survey and research conducted by Drs. Thomas Stanley and William Danko:
1. There were 6.7 million millionaires in the U.S. in 2008.
2. Approximately 65 percent of millionaires are working.
3. Thirty-six percent own a business.
4. Eighty-seven percent are married.
5. Average age is 55.
6. On average, they do not own the newest cars.
7. On average, they do not shop for name brand clothes.
8. On average, they invest 20 percent of their yearly income.
9. Eighty percent built their wealth in one generation.
So, if you would like to become more affluent, what can you do to develop greater financial mastery?
The following are 15 wealth building values, attitudes and habits:
1. Wealth creation begins with the right attitude regarding money and finances.
2. Abundance begins when you’re no longer living from paycheck to paycheck.
3. Abundance is having your assets and ideas making money for you.
4. Wealthy people make money while they sleep (investments, on-line business, people working for them, etc.)
5. With the exceptions of mortgage and student loans, avoid accumulating debt.
6. Pay off your credit card balance in full each month. Pay off any credit card debt ASAP. Credit card interest drains wealth.
7. Keep only one credit card for maintaining a good credit rating. Do away with the rest.
8. When receiving your paycheck, pay yourself first by setting 10-15% aside in a nest egg.
9. With your nest egg, make wise investment choices:
A. Maximize your 401K, especially if your employer matches your contribution. Not all 401Ks are created the same. Some are far better (or worse) than others. Thoroughly understand the nature and restrictions of the one you’re interested in before investing.
B. Make purchases which appreciate in value.
C. Limit purchases which depreciate in value (automobile, name brands, etc.)
D. Key to real estate: location, location, location.
E. Financial market: invest in index funds.
F. Financial market: manage your greed and fear.
G. Financial market: diversify; don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
10. Keep a liquid cash reserve of at least three months of living expenses. Add one month (minimum) for each year above age 20.
11. Limit frequent, discretionary expenses that add up quickly, such as gourmet coffee, eating out, cigarettes, alcohol, ATM fees, cell phone surcharge, multiple cable subscriptions, etc.
12. Learn from people who already enjoy long-term financial success. Ask about their financial values and strategies.
13. Find a partner in life with healthy, intelligent, and compatible financial values.
14. Make a financial plan with specific goals and targets in mind. Create a timeline to realize your plan, step by step.
15. Remember wealth alone does not lead to long term happiness – self acceptance, quality relationships and a meaningful life’s purpose do. However, wealth can provide the personal freedom to enjoy a higher quality of life. If you’re blessed with wealth and abundance, give something back in gratitude.
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Preston Ni is a professor of communication studies, Fortune 500 trainer, executive coach, and organizational change consultant. Write to Preston at commsuccess@nipreston.com, and access free resources at www.nipreston.com. © 2010 by Preston C. Ni. All rights reserved.
Spotlight: Andrei Soen of Crab Landing
December 17, 2009
Crab Landing, the new seafood hot spot dreamt up by owner Andrei Soen and his team, happens to open at a very fitting time: crab season.
Aptly located in the picturesque coastal town of Half Moon Bay, the restaurant features a diverse fusion menu of all things delectable and fresh from the sea.
Featuring a sparkling Raw Bar complete with oysters on the half shell and chilled bites like Hamachi Carpaccio with a lime-mint vinaigrette, and a poke-inspired Wakame Salmon Tini with spicy diced salmon and cucumber over Japanese seaweed salad, Crab Landing has a menu full of delights for the ultimate seafood lover.
The mouthwatering menu includes weekend brunch, lunch, starters, dinner, desserts and a full cocktail and wine bar. Patrons will relish in the range of classics and new twists, finding anything from steamed Manila clams and Ahi Tuna Poke to a Prawn Mango Salad with sweet chili garlic dressing and Cracked Crab.
Here, Andrei Soen talks a little about his Asian heritage and the influence his background has had on his work and in the creation of Crab Landing.
Socola Sisters and the Chocolate Factory
November 30, 2009
“Notorious H.O.G.,” ”It’s Getting Hot in Hia,” ”Give It To Me Guava”— sound like the names of rap songs, but are actually the clever names of chocolate truffle flavors from Socola Chocolatier. Founded by two Vietnamese American sisters, Wendy and Susan Lieu, Socola Chocolatier is the hippest and newest chocolatier in town.
What makes Socola unique from other high-end chocolatiers is that it has more Asian-influenced flavors, such as jasmine tea and lychee flavored truffles, seasonally. The truffles come in a sweetly packaged box, which has won Socola plaudits for presentation and design at the San Francisco International Chocolate Salon, the largest chocolate show on the West Coast. London Financial Times deems them as one of the “hottest” chocolatiers in California and Diablo Magazine awarded them Best Chocolatier of the East Bay. Currently, Socola sells its chocolates online (www.socolachocolates.com) and in various stores including Whole Foods in San Francisco and Oakland.
Chief Chocolatier Wendy, fondly nicknamed “Wendy Wonka” by her college friends, and Sous-Chef Susan, travel the world to find inspiration for their truffle flavors. When Susan traveled to Cuba as a humanitarian aid worker with Wendy, the two fell in love with the guava jelly that locals used on their toast and “Give It To Me Guava,” a truffle made with a guava pate de fruit layered on a dark chocolate ganache, was born.
Each Socola truffle is handmade with only the finest local and organic ingredients, including dairy products from the award-winning Straus Family Creamery. When it comes to ingredients, the sisters are always looking for the best. “We’re such hedonists,” says Wendy. “We use the best butter, we use the best cream. This is definitely the best chocolate you can have.”
Though the business has been quite successful, the story of the Socola sisters has a humble beginning. Wendy and Susan’s parents grew up in Vietnam but fled the country in 1981 to escape communist repression after the fall of Saigon. They were part of the mass exodus of Vietnamese known as the “Vietnamese Boat People,” who left the country on boats to seek a better future. Wendy, the older sister, was born under these auspices at a refugee camp in Malaysia. Fortunately, the family was eventually sponsored to live in America and they started a new life in the East Bay.
As with most immigrants new to America, life was not easy. The family lived in low-income housing in Emeryville. Initially their father delivered newspapers and their mother was a seamstress. Eventually their mother opened her own nail salon after attending cosmetology school while their father started his own gardening business.
Early on the sisters showed the same entrepreneurial zeal. “We always sold things,” recalls Susan. “We sold friendship bracelets, Girl Scout cookies, wrapping paper, magazines.” It was only natural for the sisters to make and sell chocolate as well.
The chocolate making journey began in 2001 when Wendy was a freshman at UC Davis and Susan was attending high school in Santa Rosa. Wendy decided to try her hand at a simple truffle recipe she found in a gourmet foods magazine. The truffles got rave reviews from friends and family. Soon the Socola sisters were featured on a local radio station and were selling their chocolates at the local farmer’s market.
“In our initial years, we were making it up as we went along,” says Susan. The sisters started off making truffles on their kitchen counter at home. However, after being shutdown for not having an environmental health permit, Socola was forced to move. Luckily, a friend offered up his restaurant’s commercial kitchen for the sisters to use.
Part of Socola’s success has been because the sisters complement each other so well. Wendy, a graduate of UC Davis and pastry school, is mature and has a deep passion for chocolates. Susan, a graduate of Harvard, is spunky and extroverted—someone who does not hesitate to sing and dance during an interview to make a point. Susan takes care of the marketing and sales while Wendy focuses on making the best chocolate truffles.
Though each of the sisters have other activities that occupy their time, Wendy as a consultant and Susan as a Coro Fellow in public affairs, they both view making chocolates as a way of spending time with each other. “Socola guarantees me getting 3 hours of Susan’s time every week so we can hang out together and make chocolates,” says Wendy.
“I mean, we get into our sisterly fights—that’s natural,” adds Susan. “But we really love each other and it’s our moment together.”
Wendy and Susan hope to one day open a dessert café. “It’ll be a magical place,” Wendy says excitedly. “Somewhere where you can come and be happy with chocolates and desserts.” Many of us hope that day comes soon.
New Leadership Success Series Blog
November 23, 2009
View Extended Articles and Download Free Resources
The new Leadership Success Series blog is now on-line. The blog includes extended versions of many of my articles published in Asian Week, as well as new writings.
Categories include:
· Communication success
· Financial success
· Job security
· Life purpose
· Life resiliency
· Women’s studies
· Multicultural America
· Time management
· Accent reduction
· Voice improvement
Come and visit the blog at www.nipreston.com/blog. You can also download free excerpts of most of my publications at www.nipreston.com/publicatons.
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Preston Ni is a professor of communication studies, Fortune 500 trainer, executive coach, and organizational change consultant. Write to Preston at commsuccess@nipreston.com, and access free resources at www.nipreston.com. © 2009 by Preston C. Ni. All rights reserved.
Zing! iPhone App: The New Soundtrack to Everyday Life
October 13, 2009
iPhone apps are pretty much a dime a dozen. But what really makes a quality iPhone app? In the case of www.i5labs.com and their new sound box app, www.i5labs.com/zing, it’s a flash of brilliance, a lot of hard work, and a little help from one of the best-known Asian American musicians in the San Francisco Bay Area.
Jason Wong, CEO and co-founder of San Francisco-based i5labs, woke up one morning with a silly idea: create an app for “situation-(in)appropriate” sound effects available to iPhone users at the touch of a button. True to form, Wong didn’t let the idea stop there. Over the course of 8 weeks, Wong and his team developed the app from a single tension-building “dun-dun-duhhhhn!” into a series of 27 classic sound effects.
The sounds are packaged into an interactive app with a sleek, foolproof interface. [See screenshot] Clearly, the potential for this app’s use are plenty: someone tells a lame joke, and nothing says it fell flat on its face like the sound of “crickets.” Someone tells a dumb joke — use the “ba dum bum” drum sound, just like they do on TV. Someone plots evil, and only an appropriately sinister “muahahaha” in successively louder repetitions will suffice. You get the picture - or rather, the sound…ba dum bum!
Although each sound effect was carefully crafted, one in particular showcases i5labs’ production standards and sets the app apart from the 75,000 other iPhone apps floating around the iTunes App Store: the infamous “bow chicka bow wow.” Of their marquee track, Wong says, “We scoured the web high and low, but finally realized we had to build it ourselves.” He turned to his friend and Bay Area musical genius, Goh Nakamura, for the signature riff.
Nakamura’s videos have garnered over a million views on YouTube and he’s quickly gaining notoriety throughout the Bay Area for creative improvised shows with live looping, and incredibly agile fingerstyle. Recalling his contribution to zing!, Nakamura laughed, “Jason called me up, and asked if I could play ‘bow chicka bow wow’ on my guitar for zing!. Strange request, but I was happy to, and loved what came out of that session. He said he’d send me on tour if he sold a million of these things, so get your copy today.”
“Working with Goh was a blast. He did an incredible job, and I’m really proud of what we’ve done,” says Wong. “Everyone who’s gotten their hands on the app can’t get enough of it. If we get momentum, we can add more effects and look at building other apps. For now, I’d love to see more people use zing! and let us know how we can make it even better. Oh yeah, I’d also like to send Goh on tour.”
Add a soundtrack to your life — add zing!
Kai-Fu Lee Introduces Innovation Works to Silicon Valley
October 9, 2009
Mountain View, California - “We received 7,000 resumes on our first day,” said Kai-Fu Lee, founder of Innovation Works and former president of Google China, to over 400 audience members at the annual conference of the Asian American MulitiTechnology Association (AAMA) in Silicon Valley’s Computer History Museum on Oct. 2.
Lee, the first keynote speaker of the conference, analyzed the Chinese Internet market and explained why he had recently left Google China to create Innovation Works. He pointed to the frequent emergence of talented entrepreneurs and the dire scarcity of early stage funding in China as what inspired him to create a company that combines recruiting, Internet software, and a venture capital firm in one.
Lee discussed China’s tremendous response to Innovation Works with his past experiences. He said he received 1,000 resumes on the first day of Microsoft Research Asia and 3,000 resumes on his first day at Google China. He attributed the unprecedented popularity of Innovation Works to the innovative way it approaches the Chinese Internet market.
“We are a match maker,” Lee said. “We bring great ideas, great engineers, great entrepreneurs and great venture capitalists together.”
According to Lee, the founding of Innovation Works was a fairly recent decision. He didn’t have it in mind when AAMA invited him to speak at the conference, which marked the 30th anniversary of the largest nonprofit high tech organization in Silicon Valley’s Asian American community.
For his career change made before the conference, Lee arrived in Silicon Valley with one more mission to accomplish. He was meeting investors for his newly founded company, which had obtained $1.5 million for establishment and had half of the $100 million investment fund committed.
Lee said he wouldn’t just take anyone’s investment. Innovation Works can afford to select investors.
One of the confirmed investors was WI Harper Group, which sponsored Lee’s keynote speech at the AAMA conference.
Peter Liu, founder and chairman of WI Harper Group, introduced Lee to the conference attendees. Liu emphasized Lee’s Asian American background in the introduction speech.
Lee was born in Taiwan in 1961 and immigrated to the United States with his family in 1973. He was classmates with current U.S. president Barrack Obama when going to Columbia University. He went to graduate school at Carnegie Mellon University, where he earned a Ph.D. in computer science and developed the world’s first speaker independent continuous speech recognition system.
Lee is a prominent example of success among Asian Americans who have moved to China for career advancement. With his in-depth knowledge of the China market, he told those of the AAMA conference attendees who originally came from China that Chinese Americans might lose their elite status in China due to local people’s continuous efforts to catch up.
“If you want to go back, go back soon,” said Lee. “Your advantage is about to run out!”
Lee described local Chinese entrepreneurs as creative innovators. He said the average PC in China must have windows reinstalled every four months to keep up with the rapid changes on the Chinese Internet, which is more entertainment oriented and shows higher IM usage than the American Internet.
“The main reason for the difference is not cultural,” Lee said, quoting statistics that the average Internet user is 42 years old in America but only 25 in China.
Because young people in China often can’t afford to have their own computers, Internet cafes take about 30% of all Internet usage in China, according to Lee. These cafes are usually where teenagers learn how to use the Internet. To cater to the young crowd, some of the cafes have private rooms with just two seats and two computers in each for dating couples.
It’s not only young people who frequently surf on line and enjoy gaming websites in China. Lee said many middle-aged businessmen in China play virtual games to satisfy their egos, as they can become bigger winners in the cyber space than they are in real life. Some of them also try to meet attractive young women at the gaming sites.
Currently, six of the 10 largest Internet companies in China do gaming.
Lee said the Chinese Internet inherited the global Internet and injected local characteristics. Besides gaming, he brought up e-commerce as another example. He said E-Bay had a tough time entering China because the Chinese customarily wouldn’t pay before receiving the product, given the lack of trust between seller and buyer in Chinese culture. But local e-commerce companies have overcome this problem by letting customers order on line and then pay cash upon delivery.
Lee praised Chinese entrepreneurs for their abilities to turn imitation into innovation, naming the Chinese versions of Youtube and Facebook as more examples. But he acknowledged pirating as a serious problem in China’s unregulated environment.
After his speech, Lee continued commenting on the nature of the Chinese Internet market in his answers to reporters’ questions.
“You can’t stop people copying,” he said. “So you have to continuously move faster than others.”
The Story of an Extraordinary Chinese Feminist
October 6, 2009
In 2008 I participated in the “Autumn Gem” project, a docudrama directed and produced by San Francisco Bay Area filmmakers Rae and Adam Tow. The following is an excerpt from autumn-gem.com:
“This project explores the extraordinary life of the Chinese revolutionary heroine and women’s rights activist Qiu Jin (1875 – 1907). During the reign of the last dynasty in China, Qiu Jin boldly challenged traditional gender roles and demanded equal rights and opportunities for women. At a time when women’s lives were often marked by repressive practices such as footbinding, arranged marriages, and denial of education, she envisioned a future where women would free themselves from the confines of tradition and emerge as strong and active citizens of a new and modern nation.”
In the film I play the historical figure Xu Xilin, Qiu’s fellow revolutionary. Here’s the Autumn Gem trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hbo-1Ep3bE
The filmmakers are in the process of planning a screening tour in March 2010 and are seeking schools, museums, and other educational venues across the nation to include on their itinerary. A list of their current upcoming events can be found at:
http://autumn-gem.com/screenings/
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Preston Ni is a professor of communication studies, Fortune 500 trainer, executive coach, and organizational change consultant. Write to Preston at commsuccess@nipreston.com, and access free resources at www.nipreston.com. © 2009 by Preston C. Ni. All rights reserved.
The Asian Mr. McDonald’s
September 11, 2009
When C.C. Yin applied for a McDonald’s Restaurant franchise in 1983, he wanted a mid-career change in search of the so-called American dream.
“I always felt America was the land of opportunities and freedom to do whatever you desired. My concept of McDonald’s was that it was a true American business with a philosophy that its owners need to be involved in their community, and that was the perfect fit for the change I was looking for,” recalls Yin.
Twenty five years later, C.C. and his active partner and wife, Regina, have earned the title of being one of the most successful Asian American small business owners in America with their ownership of 26 McDonalds in 11 cities in 5 counties. Other accolades in their treasure chest of honors is having been named the most respected McDonald’s owners in the nation with special awards as the franchisee with the best operations and best government and community relations.
Bamboo H2O: Transforming the Urban Into an Oasis
September 8, 2009
Sheltered from the hustle and bustle of a busy intersection on the edge of North Beach is a leafy oasis on the corner of 704 Filbert. Edwin Toy, founder of Bamboo H2O, can often be found tending to the mini bamboo “forest” that has taken root and transformed this slice of weathered urban jungle into one of serene refuge.
“You see those plants across the street? They’re new,” he gestures across the busy intersection, where some young foliage seems to have found a new home. “The owner planted them just after we planted our bamboo. I think it’s great. It’s sort of like a domino effect — you improve the landscape in one corner and slowly the rest becomes greener, too.”
New to San Francisco, Bamboo H2O is the first company in the Bay Area devoted solely to bamboo and bamboo products, and caters to all and to the green-conscious in particular, with environmentally friendly products as an alternative to the traditional landscape.
While many may already know how bamboo can dramatically reshape a landscape, few also know their potential to reshape our impact on the environment. It is this green element, combined with a personal affinity for the bamboo plant that compelled Eddie to leave his corporate career to pursue his passion.
Unlike most traditional wood products, bamboo can be harvested in a wholly sustainable way. A hardy and adaptive plant, bamboo can be cut without harm to the roots and plant itself, meaning it is a self-healing, regenerative plant that won’t risk depletion and environmental destruction from mass cultivation. Not only is it one of the fastest growing plants, but it is also one of the most renewable resources. Eddie points out that most bamboo plants grow in cycles of five years - the time it takes each generation to reach maturity, and can grow up to 10 ft. tall. Some of the young bamboo plants in the shop are already at a towering 7 ft. tall.
“My first bamboo plant was from when I was a kid, so I’ve always liked them, but when I learned how useful and how good for the environment they are, I became more interested,” Eddie recalls.
He decided then that although use of bamboo at the time was a little unconventional, it was a creative solution to the growing concern of sustainability in materials-use. Although Eddie expertly describes how sustainable bamboo is, it becomes clear that his initial attraction to the bamboo plant was mainly spiritual. Eddie confides that he is a firm believer in feng shui and the healing properties of the bamboo plant. The composed vibe emanating from his neat, tranquil shop makes a persuasive argument.
Traditionally, bamboo is valued for its power to transform a landscape and its feng shui. Walk through the blaring horns and screechy brakes of enraged drivers ripping through Columbus Avenue and the ruffled walkers stomping down the concrete, and one will find the sudden Zen calm just outside Bamboo’s storefront a welcome relief. Eddie describes his own discovery of bamboo’s healing powers while working on his home garden one afternoon, “I looked around and I suddenly felt calmer, better. I really do believe that it is has a certain energy that is very healing, very soothing.”
Can bamboo really have such compelling powers? There is something undeniably attractive about those tender, baby-green leaves. It is easy to see why the bamboo plant has been the long-standing symbol of strength and grace, of a sturdy toughness wedded with gentle flexibility, across Asian cultures.
Because of its unique qualities — both aesthetically and physically — bamboo holds a powerful and familiar place in Asian culture as a positive, life-affirming symbol. In China, bamboo is a symbol of longevity, no doubt owing to the spirited buoyancy of the plant, but it also represents tranquility, simplicity and humility. For many, the use of bamboo engenders a space of peace and positive energy. It was cherished tradition for a traveler to enclose a bamboo leaf with their letters home, as a symbolic missive of peace and well-being and well-wishes for the same to the family. The Japanese admire bamboo for its resilience and vigor, as it thrives even in the harshest of unforgiving winters. So admired is this plant that forests of bamboo are often grown to shelter and protect Japanese Shinto shrines against evil spirits and negative energy. Not only is bamboo considered a lucky symbol; it is apparently tasty, too. The bamboo is a symbol of steady friendship and peace in India, but its young shoots are also used to make delectable vegetarian dishes. 
While the bamboo plants and products at Bamboo H2O are not exactly made for culinary stints, they do bring about practical utility and an elegant aesthetic to an environment, whether indoors or out. Eddie’s shop boasts a beautiful range of high-quality, sustainable bamboo materials — from edging and fencing to flooring and building — and potentially, clothing and accessories. The products and materials are versatile and highly functional, offering endless possibilities with the right imagination. Luckily, Eddie and his staff also provide consultations and experienced advising.
Eddie walks over and points out the bamboo slats bundled neatly in one area and the stalks of bamboo poles resting against the wall - “raw” materials to one eye, but functional beauty to another. The slats are finely crafted, while the tall, thick and sturdy bamboo poles are surprisingly lightweight for their size. Lifting one of the giant poles with ease, Eddie remarks that these poles, though simple, can be used to build anything from a tall fence for privacy to a hip bamboo gazebo. They also make for eye-appealing and Zen-inspired or natural minimalist decor.
“I just really believe in the power and beauty of bamboo. I’m passionate about it, but what draws me to bamboo is its spiritual quality,” Eddie says, as he leans in to prune a young, thriving bamboo plant, gracefully dancing in the light afternoon breeze.
Eight Keys to Life Hardiness and Resiliency
September 3, 2009
Helen Keller once said: “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.” As we navigate through challenging times toward a better future, it’s useful to visit some tried and true ideas regarding life hardiness and resiliency. This is not meant to be an exhaustive list, but rather a reminder of some existential ideas we sometimes set aside as we tend to the hectic details of daily life.
1. The power of perspective
Life is not always easy. We all know that. How we choose the way we think, feel, and act in relation to life’s challenges can often make the difference between hope versus despair, optimism versus frustration, and victory versus defeat. With every challenging situation we encounter, ask questions such as “What is the lesson here?”, “How can I learn from this experience?”, “What is most important now?”, and “If I think outside the box, what are some better answers?” The higher the quality of questions we ask, the better the quality of answers we will receive. Ask constructive questions based on learning and priorities, and we can gain the proper perspective to help us tackle the situation at hand.
“I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”
- Thomas A. Edison
2. Don’t focus on the mud
We should learn from the past, but not be stuck in it. Sometimes life circumstances and personal setbacks can haunt and prevent us from seeing our true potential and recognizing new opportunities. What has already happened we cannot change, but what is yet to happen we can shape and influence. At times the first step is simply to break from the past and declare that it is you, not your history, who’s in charge. Ask empowering questions such as “What matters to me now?”, “How can I make a difference in this situation?”, and “What’s the next step for my best interest and well-being?” Every moment we’re alive we can make new choices that help us move on and step toward a better future. If we pay attention to only mud on the ground after a storm, we won’t notice that the sky above us has already cleared. Goethe reminds us: “Nothing is worth more than this day.” Don’t focus on the mud. Make better choices today and move on.
3. All you have to do is ask…the right individuals
In life we sometimes may feel like we’re walking alone, but we don’t have to be as long as we’re honest with ourselves, and ask for help when needed. You can find strength and support through a “board of advisors” you create. These are your “go-to” people when you’re in need of sound advice, a new perspective, a certain expertise, or simply an empathetic ear. Members of the board can include individuals you know whose opinions you respect and character you trust. Your personal B.O.A. can also include your role models from past and present, historical or fictional. Ask, for example: “What would (role model A) say about my situation?”, or “What would (role model B) do if she were in my shoes?” Asking for help is not the same as complaining. Habitual complainers dwell on what’s wrong. Successful people assume responsibility for finding the support they need to solve the problem.
“Normal people have problems. The smart ones get help.”
- Daniel Amen
4. Thrive on your strengths while exploring new potential
We each have certain dispositions in which we naturally excel. Some of us are great with people, others are handy with tools, yet others thrive on information. A mismatch between what you’re naturally good at and your work in life is wasted potential. There are a myriad of assessment tools available that can help you determine your natural strengths, as well as your areas of greatest potential. For more information regarding this point, request a copy of my article Follow Your Bliss: Discover Your True Calling in Life.
“When you follow your bliss… doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors, and where there wouldn’t be a door for anyone else.”
- Joseph Campbell
5. Keep the fun and enjoyment
Van Wilder from the movie of the same name said: “You shouldn’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” No matter how difficult the circumstances, resolve to keep the fun and enjoyment in your life. Make a point to take a “mini-vacation” everyday; be it walking in the park, exercising, hugging a loved one, or taking a nice, hot bath. The more challenging and stressful life is, the more important it is to take good care of yourself so you can relax your body, ease your mind, and rejuvenate your spirit. After recharging your batteries, you may see the same situation in a different, more positive light.
6. Keep your options open
There are many paths to opportunity, success, and happiness. We can begin by asking ourselves what true success and happiness means and looks like to us, and let our answers show the way. When one path seems to be at a dead end, look another way and see what new openings may be waiting just around the corner. Options can come from consulting the aforementioned board of advisors, thinking outside the box, daring to dream, doing something different, or simply letting go of a habit or condition that has clearly outlived its usefulness. We’re never stuck unless we have blinders on. Keep your options open.
“We must dare to think ‘unthinkable’ thoughts. We must learn to explore all the options and possibilities that confront us in a complex and rapidly changing world.”
- James W. Fulbright
7. Keep the faith
There are many ways to keep your faith alive: Faith in yourself, faith in your place in this world, and faith in answers the Universe has in store for you. Go to places and engage in activities that give you the greatest feeling of inner peace. When you give yourself this gift on a regular basis, what psychologists call the Higher Self emerges, as insights, inspiration, and a sense of deep knowing spring forth from the depth of your soul.
The following quote by Anne Frank is just one example: “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature, and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.”
As you immerse yourself in peace, ask: “What if what I’m going through is a blessing in disguise? What greater purpose exists for me now?” Put forth these and any other constructive questions that come straight from your heart. Don’t try to figure out the answers during these moments, but rather “empty your mind” and let the solutions come to you. The answers may come at that moment or later: sometimes when the time is right; sometimes when you least expect them. All you have to do is hold the questions and pay attention.
Keep the faith. Find your peace within, and the answers will come!
8. Resolve to never, ever give up
I once heard a courageous person say that there are no losers in life, except for those who give up on themselves. If you’re still alive and breathing, your purpose in this life time is not yet fulfilled. The great adventure is in discovering what that purpose is, and to live it until your last breath. If you’re reading this article, you’re probably being pulled by an inner calling to do more. That calling is your adventure waiting to happen. What are you waiting for? And what are you willing to do now?
“Abraham Lincoln lost eight elections, failed twice in business and suffered a nervous breakdown before he became the president of the United States.”
- Wall Street Journal
“If you don’t have the capacity to change yourself and your own attitudes, then nothing around you can be changed.”
- Anwar Sadat
“The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse.”
- Helen Keller
“Whom do you think creates your experience of life?”
- Anonymous
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Preston Ni is a professor of communication studies, Fortune 500 trainer, executive coach, and organizational change consultant. Write to Preston at commsuccess@nipreston.com, and access free resources at www.nipreston.com. © 2009 by Preston C. Ni. All rights reserved.
